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My whine fest.
Still finding balance. I work out every day. Yup even the weekends. Saturdays are my long runs.
I have trouble with binging but it's getting less and less.
I'm eating better and better.
I take medication that makes me hungry. I drink plenty of water.
Soy Isolate Protein is my friend. It stops me from being hungry in the afternoon. I mix it with flax seed (milled). It's disgusting and horrible and kills my appetite for hours. I'm working on making it more palatable.
I've read so many diet books. :(
When I was on the heavy duty medication I gained almost one pound per day. My body just didn't know what to do with that kind of weight and appetite. I literally just never got full no matter how much I ate. It was like being trapped in a nightmare because I knew I was destroying my body yet was so hungry I would do anything for food.
The doctor said when I stopped the medication that quick weight would drop off and I would go back to normal. It isn't dropping off. I've had to learn so much dieting crap and cut my calories down, then down again and down again and down down down. I'm still fat.
Every time I eat I feel guilty and bad about it now. Every calorie like a second on a clock making me fail at weight loss.
I thought when I got down to really a fairly normal number of calories the weight would fall off me but no, no it hasn't. So now I look for ways to cut more. Drink more Soy Isolate Protein.
It's a depressing journey. When I lose weight people are like "yeah you lost two pounds" and I'm like -- it took me two damn months -- no I'm not happy with that result. Okay I don't say anything actually.
But anyway, I think my kidneys and metabolism might have something to do with it and I'm on a medication that tinkers with the thyroid. My levels so far are within a normal range but a lot of people gain 80lbs or more on this med. So I'm worried that my best efforts might be like Prometheus.
My doctor said she could give me Metformin but I know quite a bit about it and I don't think it works that great. It just makes people sick and it assumes that 'fat makes you fat' which I don't agree with after reading those billion books of mine. But she said the weight gain was all meds and I would just have to work it off.
Damn. I found my new winter coat I bought last spring. It no longer fits. None of my pretty clothes fit me at all. When I run my race this Saturday I might just be the largest runner out of the females for the 10k - probably. Last couple of races I was the fattest. People look at me when I say, "I'm a runner" and it's like they're shocked -- runners aren't fat. You can't be running that much right? So sometimes when I meet another runner I don't say anything because I don't want them to be like...wth. Or just think I'm a poser who just started (I've been running for five years.)
It sucks, this whole situation sucks, my husband pointing out calories in coffee creamer sucks. I mean - crap man - it's creamer. What has my life become when I can't have a cup of coffee? Not Starbucks mind you just a little home brew. I even use Stevia when I want a sweetener, but usually skip it. So I don't even know. I love Coke and they have 90 calorie Cokes now in small cans and I think I could have one once in awhile but he'll remind me, "no". And then I think life is really shit. I choke down Soy Frickin' Protein all day long - I run six miles - and I can't have a 90 calorie Coke? Screw all of it you know.
At the end of the day all my giving up good things = maybe a one pound loss at the end of the week if I'm very lucky.
If I ate like this when I was younger - man I would have been so much more healthier and thinner.
This is my crying session. The End.
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 Comments
The way you're eating just doesnt match the way you're exercising. It's really that simple. Cutting calories and skipping meals is meant for lazy people who refuse to get off their ass and be active. I hate to say "you're doing it all wrong" because it makes me sound rude and insulting but I mean this a positive critisizm! I have 2 protein shakes per day with 2 ounces of heavy whipping cream in each shake every single day thats right, 4 ounces per day of PURE FAT...and thats on top of 6 full meals. I have lost 23 pounds in 4 months doing this, and its because my diet matches my activity. I weight train 4 days per week and do cardio on my off days (usually just 30 minutes of HIIT on the treadmill, nowhere near as much running as you). What else? I take Musclepharm recon every morning and every afternoon as a muscle recovery aid...which each serving has 1 more gram of sugar than your 90 calorie coke does. You need to realize that your body has needs. If you take away those needs and STILL force your body to do more than it was before...its going to have a tantrum. Please sit down and figure out what activity you do on a daily basis, figure out how many calories you burn per day and plan your meals out (5-6 meals per day) to equal about 300-500 calories less than you burn (base metabolic rate+exercise-caloric intake= -300 to -500 net calories) and trust me...you will watch the fat simply disappear.
31 Oct 13 by member: chadlius88
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A good balance of macronutrients is very important, When training I follow a 50% protein, 30% fat, and 20% carb split. All of my fats and carbs come from natural healthy sources (meats and fish, olive oil, green fiberous vegitables, oatmeal, whole wheat pasta, brown rice etc..) Dont eat anything processed, put no salt into your food. Just because you cut calories doesnt mean squat if youre eating frozen TV dinners every day.
31 Oct 13 by member: chadlius88
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