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This is my first postpartum journal entry. :) I don't know exactly what my final fully pregnant weight was- I am guessing it was right around 190lb but my bathroom scale isn't working(the batteries inside corroded, possibly damaging the battery terminals on the scale) and my next OB appt isn't until Monday, July 22. However, I know I am significantly less heavy than 190lb.
Throughout my pregnancy I was told my duedate was July 28- which I thought didn't make sense because that's 40 instead of 38 weeks from the possible date of conception. (Incidentally I found out I was pregnant REALLY early on, so the doctor had a good idea of when the start date was.) By my calculations my duedate should have been July 13. Well Baby Tofu arrived early morning July 10, so I feel a little vindicated regarding my convictions that the doctors were wrong about my duedate.
As with my first child, my husband knew the sex and I did not- that is the way we both wanted it. Also, I thought I was having a boy. The first time around I was certain that was the case. While my confidence was not as certain, I still believed I was carrying a boy. Guess what? Wrong again! Maybe I'll learn and know better not to try and guess next time. Maybe I won't, but it seems pretty clear that I suck at anticipating with any accuracy the sex of the baby during pregnancy.
Overall it's amusingly poignant how my pregnancy experiences differed between my two little girls. I am happy though that both were really gentle on me, are very healthy/ well adjusted, and my elder daughter absolutely dotes on her little sister. Also I was able to do an epidural free labor and vaginal delivery with both girls. With my new one I had to be induced because my water broke and contractions didn't pick up until 18hours or so afterward and it didn't look like they were going to progress enough before the baby and I'd be at greater risk for infection. I was afraid to do the Pitocin, but am grateful that I had it available. I now know that my body can manage Pitocin as high as 10mU. Anything below 6mU and it's not really noticeable. 6-8mU is very manageable. 10mU starts to get challenging, but I can still take it. 12mU is where it becomes hell. One of the nurses monitoring me during labor put the dose up to 12mU contrary to my request and my doctor's explicit direction. :-( I don't know how long it was at that dose, it may not have been very long, but I was in agony and couldn't think straight. The one plus side seems to be that when the Pitocin was shut off after being at 12mU, my body was able to relax enough that I dilated really fast the last few cm I needed prior to being able to push. (It had taken me about 5 hours to go from ~2 to ~6cm, but the last 3cm or so happened within a half hour or less.) About half a dozen pushes later and my baby girl was born! 6lb 12.6 oz. I felt like I'd just reached the summit of Everest; I felt like an Amazon, or a Chuck Norris meme at that point. :P It was so exhilarating! Except for the ensuing cabin fever I'm getting now, I think I still have a little bit of a contact high from the sense of achievement that childbirth gave me. :)
The struggle that I think I face now is taking things slowly. I feel fine. I feel better than fine. However, medical advice for my daughter and me is take it slowly. Don't rush to get out. Don't rush to do exercise. (My hospital discharge papers actually say that I am not supposed to be lifting/ carrying anything heavier than my baby right now. O_o Most things in my house are bigger than she is. Technically I am not supposed to pick up my firstborn- she's 6 times heavier than my newborn- but seriously, I feel fine when I give her "up hugs".) I am kind of resenting the medical advice that is being thrown in my face when I want to do things like go out- to me it seems overly cautious. :( Trouble is, my husband is generally a very rational person. Following professional medical advice is rational. Following empirical scientific research is rational. Following annecdotal evidence is not. Just because about half the moms with newborns or multiple children starting going out in public with their newborns within the first few days and weeks home does not mean that it is prudent for me to do the same with my daughter. The struggle is I WANT to go out. I want to go to church and see my friends and be out and about. I still can't drive on my own yet, so I am dependent on other people like my husband to do that. Even if I was up to navigating my local public transit- I am not- I think that's a royally bad idea- too much unnecessary exposure to disease vectors, it's a royal pain to schlep the requisite baby gear, and I don't like how much of a time and money investment it is to get anywhere by bus. (Grrr! :( ) So I am left struggling with my understandable, irrational feelings, a sense of being trapped and somewhat bored/ aimless, and I want to be very careful I don't take all that out on my family- especially either of my little girls. (It is really nice how my older daughter loves helping me look after the younger one. So far no rivalry to deal with yet. :) ) I feel frustrated, selfish and stuck, and 3-7 weeks all of a sudden cannot pass quickly enough. :(
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