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I knew this was going to happen; I know I need to change and I can't afford to join a gym or weight watchers or something like that. Then I find this amazing site and think yeap I can do it and I won't fail, I will log on daily and follow advice from others. And of course I never followed through. Now I am very disappointed in myself and feel like I have let myself down, and what do I want to do? Go and eat a big bowl of popcorn smothered in butter. Gee like that is going to help. I just did my bmi and it is a 44 which is extremely bad. So what do I want to do, yeap you guessed eat a big bowl of popcorn with butter and salt. I know I am an emotional eater, and it makes it worse when I have bipolar and I struggle to keep that under control. I also feel that I have let myself down. I never knew what I wanted to do with my life but I always knew I wanted to be successful have my own place and be very healthy and be surrounded by positive friends. But I'm not, and that really upsets me. Which makes me want to do what?...... Yeap you guessed it eat a big bowl of popcorn. And then afterwards I feel like a big ball of fat. when I look in the mirror what do I see a big ball of fat who is an unsuccessful loser.
I know I am being very hard on myself, but that is honestly how I feel. I don't know how to change, but I want to. I have to cut out gluten and wheat products because I have a gluten sensitivity, and I am finding that very difficult to do. How am I supposed to get my carbs? I want to be healthy for my nieces. I want to live a long and healthy life.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH I am so frustrated.
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248.0 lb
Lost so far: 7.0 lb.
Still to go: 123.0 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.
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losing 0.2 lb a week
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