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I'm back! Not that I was every really gone, but I'm back! And ready to get back on the wagon. A month (plus) of not exercising and pretty much eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted has brought about a weight gain, PLUS! PLUS! The development of several episodes of hypoglycemia.
I remember the days when I could eat white bread, pasta, drink a beer and have cake for dessert. It seems those days are gone. Oh, I can still do those things, but in addition to the pounding heart rate and the generalized "ick" feeling, I also get a blood sugar crash of epic proportions. For instance, a couple weeks ago I had a small helping of veggie lo mein for lunch. Three hours later I started feeling terrible. "I've got the stupid; I can't brain anymore," is what I say when I feel that way. I was training a nurse aide for my PT job and she needed to check someone's glucose so she could be passed off on that skill. "Check me," I volunteered, never once thinking that it would be abnormal.
It was 55. Normal is 70. Comatose is something like 35. So. SO!
I've had a few episodes since then, but I've been keeping nuts in the car and nibbling when I feel stupid and slow brained. Today I skipped breakfast, then went to an OA meeting, then to W@lm@rt to pick up a few things. I knew I needed to eat, but when I got to the check out, I couldn't find what I wanted (protein bar). I didn't want candy and I was almost in tears trying to find something to eat. Finally I grabbed some beef jerky and a sugarfree drink and when to get my nails done. By the time I sat down for the pedicure, I was lightheaded, stupid *and* sweating. First time I've noticed becoming diaphoretic with the stupid feeling.
You would think that being a nurse this would be so clear to me, but it's not, really it isn't. Denial plays a HUGE part of my daily life, and how could *I* have low blood sugar, or any health problem for that matter? I'm too young to have anything wrong! I'm too healthy to be unhealthy!
I'm going back on the SBD because I really felt terrific when I was following it more than half the time, and Monday I'm starting to walk again. I'm smoking, but I know that I won't be for very much longer. And I'm going to document my weight; just because it isn't written down, doesn't make it real.
We went to SF, the vacation that I have been planning for 6 months and it was fantastic! I walked for long stretches of time and didn't die! Go me! Now I want to move to SF. Ha!
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