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I went shopping today. That was not fun. All those mirrors everywhere. I LOOK HUGE. Absolutely massive. When I think back to how slim I used to be, before uni, before I discovered the joys of wine and cocktails, before I realised that eating vast amounts of foods stopped me thinking about stuff I was actually worried about and "stopped" me realising how bored I was, I feel physically sick. My arms jiggle. I've always had arms that people described as skinny. It is just disgusting. And I'm way too young to think and feel and look like this! I had to buy a new sports bra and I'm 34E. Big. I swear if I didn't have such an enormous chest I wouldn't weigh as much or look as fat. Urgh. I had a good diet day today, but then ate 10 marshmallows in front of the TV because I "fancied" them. I have to be in a bikini in 6 days! What on earth am I going to do when I'm backpacking, can't get to a gym and will be drinking like a fish (Inevitable. I love a drink and I am weak. If I meet a crowd of fellow happy-go-lucky travellers and we go out for a few, I will not be able to resist) This means inevitable weight gain, especially when I have to deal with the drunken munchies. At least it'll be too hot to eat for most of the day. But you know what, you're only young once. And I want to enjoy myself. And if that means drinking a few rum and cokes and dancing on the table, I will. But I'll feel terribly fat whilst I'm doing it. So will have another one...Catch 22.
Diet Calendar Entries for 24 July 2008:
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758 kcal
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Fat: 5.11g | Prot: 35.98g | Carb: 149.58g.
Breakfast: frozen mixed berries, milk, natural bio yoghurt. Lunch: duck and beef wraps. Dinner: strawberries, salad greens, balsamic, tomato. Snacks/Other: marshmallows, highlights instant hot chocolate, milk. more...
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1679 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Standing - 3 hours and 30 minutes, Resting - 12 hours and 30 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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