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Up till now I think one of the factors that has helped me stick to this diet has been having the time to concentrate on it. I've been unemployed for a few months since graduating from uni and while that has been very stressful, I have at least had the time to fit in exercise, go out of my way to get healthy foods and so on. But even more important than these practical helps was the mental space I had free to dedicate to my diet - given that not much else has been going particularly right, it became my priority, something positive to think about that I could control and (mostly) stick to.
Now I have a kind of half job offer - some work experience that could potentially turn into paid work one day. Its long distance admin, copy writing and editing for my cousin's business. Its great to be offered it and I'm so grateful but its also very stressful - I feel incompetent, inadequate and a bit scared. I wish I'd had more professional experience before this, and would hate to do anything to jeopardise her business! Anyway, because this is work I would do remotely, in my own time, I know it has the potential just to expand to fill the time available, just like essays and reading for uni would, and I know it will probably become my new priority. Also I know I will find it stressful for a long time as it is outside my comfort zone and I feel like my medium term financial security will depend on it!
So I need to stay aware. I can imagine what might happen - I'll deprioritize exercising and not go to the gym 'just in case' I might do work then, or not go for a run 'just in case' it makes me too tired to concentrate. Or I'll eat because I'm stressed, or as a lazy way of getting an energy/mental boost, or because I've gone to work in the library or internet cafe without thinking through all my food options first.
NO! I have to not let this happen. If I genuinely am worried about time, I can run instead of the gym - its only half an hour and starts right outside your front door, so there's no excuses. It might not be as great as a big gym session but its a hell of a lot better than nothing. And the food is the most important thing not to let slip, both since you can't really outrun a bad diet and because I know exactly the kind of bad habits I used to be in when I was studying, gobbling cake and chocolate for lunch and for regular 'boots', eating easy but calorific pasta and the like at home and never planning ahead.
So: I just need to stay honest with myself, committed, aware, and plan ahead! I think I can do it!
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