RubyRedSox's Journal, 23 November 2012

Thanksgiving was a mixed bag for me. I have so much to be grateful for in between the stress, sadness and even loss. I totally loved having all the kids here yesterday, in spite of all the work and pain that went into it. My oldest son was here, my daughter, my grand, her boyfriend and his 13 year old son. The only one missing was my youngest son(33). Though he was here... in the house. He stayed in his room the whole time... It's been so terrible. He's been so ill and it happened so suddenly. I didn't know the signs.. I didn't see the signs and I have no idea where this will lead us.

He had a break from reality last month, spent 10 days in the hospital and went back to work. Then he couldn't get his medication refilled because the office where he was suppose to see a Dr wasn't staffed properly and they kept canceling his appointments but they also would not refill his med without seeing the dr 1st and yes I'm still very upset about that!

After being off his med for over 2 weeks he finally got in and got his refill. However, he's not stable. His work put him on sickleave because he couldn't perform his job properly and trying to talk or reason with my son is going nowhere right now. He's so distracted with the voices in his head. I'm trying hard to deal with this. I gave my son links to helpful sites and wrote down the crisis numbers he could call for help. So far, he hasn't called anyone and I'm feeling pretty helpless. It's like having a stranger in our house.

Ah... but there is good news. My oldest son was contacted this week by his ex so he has been talking to his daughter whom he hasn't seen nor knew where she was for 10 years. He says he's moving closer to her which I'm so happy for him. On the downside that leaves me to deal with my ill son by myself. If I wasn't sick, this would not be an issue.

Anyway, between this and my daughter's abusive situation I'm pretty depressed and wrung out. I had always thought that it gets easier when your kids get older or that's what I was told anyway. Well that's not happening at my house. I am wondering with all this what 2013 has in store for our family. My daughter is worried that my son may not be able to return to work and what that would mean isn't a fun idea. As I understand it, it's not a smooth road to disability concerning mental illnesses should he not be able to return to work.

Sigh...sorry for the bummer journal but being a shutin really limits me. There are few places I can go to sort this all out.

Thank you for being here and here's hoping that the Christmas holiday finds us all much better off.


also known as Dianna (real name). Ruby is my longtime nickname.
on diet RubyRedSox's own diet  


Thanks to the fatsecret team, the troll that had commented on my journal is gone! 
25 Nov 12 by member: RubyRedSox
Dianna, I'm just seeing this now and am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. It is so painful to see your children struggling. You might not be able to physically do much but if you can continue to give them positive feedback and support them with your positive thoughts things will turn around for all of you. I say positive thoughts because I know our kids get sick of hearing us always saying "be positive" but one day they will understand. Blessings to you and your beautiful family!  
05 Dec 12 by member: Neptunebch
dianna i have been in your youngest daughter has bipolar disorder,anxiety,borderline personality disorder.she has been institutionalized twice with psycosis.right now her meds are working but i keep waiting for a other kids have their problems too.grown up kids definately have more trouble.i hope everything works out for your day at a daughter got turned down for ssi the first time.lawyers are still trying. 
06 Dec 12 by member: rockytu
Thank you both SO much for taking the time to post on my journal. You really helped me with your openess and encouraging words. Blessings to you and your families as well! 
08 Dec 12 by member: RubyRedSox
Oh FIL had issues too...its not the easiest thing to deal prayers and thoughts are with you and yours..I have a friend that had to have shock treatments..she is doing much better but its hard for her to deal with reality some times...Love and Hugs....:O) 
08 Dec 12 by member: BHA
Diane, I just saw your post and my prayers are with you. I cannot even concieve of the stress and pain you have. My daughter was diagnosed with clinical depression as a teenager and fights with it always. I am blessed that she is able to control it. All we can do is take it a day at a time. Grown children are still our children and you are giving all that you can give.  
08 Dec 12 by member: ranchwoman


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