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Weird day. Happy, cause I realized the clothes I found in the container are from 5 years ago, when I was maybe my lowest weight in 20 years. Disappointed, cause I still have clothes that fit - why aren't they all too big? Shocked/sad that my cousins son is 11 years old today. How can be 11 already? Sad because one of my parents friends from way back when I was a little girl passed away. I haven't seen him in years. My memories of him are so hazy and fuzzy cause I was so young but I recognize him in photos. My sadness is not so much for him but for the realization that a man just slightly older than my father is gone. The idea of losing either of my parents is so horrible I can't hardly stand to think of it. But now I am and it makes me so very sad. I didn't have cake at the birthday party. Or pizza. But I spent that long drive home trying to decide what food I want to order from what restaurant. A pre-surgery habit. In the end I had a bratwurst, cabbage and deviled egg. Not so much cause it's healthier but because I couldn't think of a place with food good enough to make me feel better with just a tiny amount. I mean, what's the point of splurging if you can only eat a little and that little bit isn't amazing? Not that my cooking is amazing. I'll probably have sugar free pudding later if I'm still feeling ... stuff.
Diet Calendar Entry for 26 May 2018:
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1320 kcal
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Fat: 65.06g | Prot: 83.17g | Carb: 100.84g.
Breakfast: Premier Nutrition High Protein Shake - Chocolate. Lunch: McDonald's Bacon McDouble, McDonald's Caramel Iced Coffee (Medium). Dinner: Deviled Egg, Gulden's Spicy Brown Mustard, Margaret Holmes Seasoned Cabbage, Kroger Hot Dog Buns, Johnsonville Cheddar Brats. more...
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