"The Maltitol Falcon"
[Noir-style Voiceover]: It all started with a snack, a
"sugar-free" little diet-wrecker named "Atkins".
[Hard-boiled Dietitian to partner]: Sucker didn't see it coming. It was like throwing bloody chum to a shark.
[Camera pans across tile floor of a hospital-style room, following a irregular trail of what seem to be candy bar wrappers. Camera focuses on single wrapper, which reads "Atkins(tm) Quadruple Chocolate Extra Chocolaty Chocolate 'Snack' Bar".]
[Camera pauses at chalk outline of a stalled Diet, motionless in a pool of coagulating barbecue sauce and sprinkled with crumbs & flakes of chocolate.]
[Dietitian #1: Looks like the night started with the "diet" bar. Dumb bastard ignored all the posts and thought he could take it. Then came another, and another...but what really killed him was the chicken wings that came later. Washed down with some diet cola, but it was too late. Game Over...]
