Ms Elizabeth's Journal, 19 January 2017

You would think that feeling big, unattractive, frumpy, and kind of like a clump of manure mixed with hay on the bottom of a barn boot would motivate me. It didn't though.. it made me crave a cheeseburger. It didn't matter how many times I imagined being a lump of poop I still wanted the cheeseburger. Still.. I'm losing weight cheeseburger or no cheeseburger so that's good right?

It all started this morning when I looked at my closet and decided I didn't like anything in it because I had worn everything in rapid repeat week after week because I refuse to buy any new work clothes that I am determined will not fit in the future. So I decided to go kinda casual and picked a nice t-shirt. My boss is out and I'm going to be stuck in my office trying to read foreign languages that I can't read so why not?

The "why not" is that t-shirts and slacks hate one another. The shirt rides up on the silky material and before you know it you've got that front butt/momma pouch/yup.. that girl had kids peaking out anytime you have to pee.. or get more coffee.. or go to the copier.. or walk past the training room full of customers you had no clue where going to be at work for training and they're all from other countries and dressed in suits and you really want to talk to the people with the amazing accents because accents are amazing but you can't because you're in a t-shirt and slacks and your front butt is out. So poop.. But oh wait it gets better!

The new tiny pit bull the company hired to maximize revenue opportunities is there too. She's I think.. 75 lbs, 4 foot something, and the personality of.. not that I have anything against pitbulls but you get the idea. So she gave me the look up, look down, you fat pig look. At least that's the way I interpreted it. She does tend to look at everyone and seem to size them up to see if you are of use to her then if you're not she immediately dismisses you. I've been dismissed several times. Once she introduced herself and realized I didn't do anything she could use so she never talked to me again, wont even say hi in the hallway. Another time she realized I wasn't the executive secretary in Germany who could get her a car and she was stranded at a train station... Just sayin.

I seem to be ranting in super big paragraphs so one more thing.. an old friend got in contact with me on facebook today and asked me how I was doing. After this kind of day I instantly thought.. well about 60 lbs heavier since you knew me but otherwise good. I thought it. I did not say it. I am apparently having an I feel fat day.

I'm going to go gnaw aggressively on carrots now. Please excuse my ranting long paragraphs about things that probably only made sense in my head.