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Thank you all so much for the messages, reminders and encouragement. I apologize for leaving for so long and will confess right now I'm not going to try to catch up on the 189 unread notifications. I just can't. But I know you know that does NOT mean I don't love and care about you all. It just means, much like food and everything else in life, I need to do what I can do and not be so worried about the rest. I trust my friends will understand. Or as the old saying goes: those who matter won't mind.. those who mind don't matter.
Eating .. a little better and then a trip... I can't seem to go a full day and record my food diary nor journal but I am 'mostly' aware of being mindful. I have realized I lose all perspective when beer is involved... so next Trivia night at the Pub I will order 'water and the skinny girl platter' instead of beer and nachos. Yes, I will. As I wrote on my little kitchen affirmation today: I deserve health and happiness and will pursue it by treating my body, mind and soul well. I need nutrition and nurturing.
BTW - Trivia night - we are in Second Place of the six week tournament. Our team is Yoga and me but Blondie joined us Monday night. The prize is a night in a hotel that offers 'Tree House' rooms. MY idea of roughing it is when the suite doesn't have a mini-bar or a valet laundry service so WHEN we win (positive thinking, by golly) I'll give the prize to the grandson's or something. I'm just competing out of pride for now.
My absence was not based on depression over the photo's or anything else. Things have just been crazy busy in BellaWood and I was hesitant to record too much based on the superstition of 'jinxing' things. I promoted a vendor fair downtown this weekend - only had about 15 tables but not bad and they all told me they enjoyed it very much and want to do it again. So that, the promoting and last minute organizing took up a lot of my time. I was doing well with eating at the Fair - until I fell into the donut box. Gah. I think 4-5 donuts. So next fair - I'll have someone pick up a fruit & veggie tray instead. It begins with me, right?
The past two days/nights have been fairly mindful with eating. I've met someone (yep... finally) who is like me - could stand to lose a few pounds but not hung up on it. He's more about the philosophy of health than size and it's helping to have a shared commonality. He's very nice as well, wants to treat me like a princess, and protect me. My heart and head are in a constant battle of emotions vs logic.... the brain continues too say 'this is so fast.. it's too fast' and my heart says 'listen to only the first half of that an enjoy it.' Regardless, meanwhile, it's nice to dine with someone who TRIES to keep the meals light and healthy but not a fanatic about it.
Exercise - just my usual taking care of things. I have a trade show this weekend so I'll be lifting, packing, walking and standing. Raining here today, so .. darn, can't go for a jog. Haha. The 'guy' - belongs to a gym and works on the elliptical and wants me to go with him. That would be nice ~ a workout buddy. I made it to yoga last week after missing about a month; it kicked my butt. Another class tonight. Hopefully I'll do better but am being kind enough to myself to accept that just showing up means a lot.
So that's the update on my absence. I won't promise to be here every day; I'd rather admit my limitations than break promises. Thank you for stopping by and visiting with me and accepting me. I was thinking as I wrote this ' I was so busy w/Cutty for so long and I still managed to be here daily, sometimes twice a day, what happened?'
I guess it's because I'm not just sitting at my laptop in between taking care of him. I'm out, and about. I have built up a pretty decent 'event' schedule to the point I have to choose. For example - this guy, I met him online and he wanted to meet me for dinner. I told him I 'was already busy that night - going to the auction - but if he wanted to meet me 'there' they do have a pretty decent BBQ sandwich at the snack bar'. And.. he did. Afterward.. he wanted to go somewhere else & get coffee. I told him to get some cake & coffee at the snack bar and visit with me.. but that I was waiting for a seat at the poker table. He accepted all that and still likes me. It's kind of nice running my own life.
Bells
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