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"That just hurt a lot, still alive though" One of my favorite movie quotes, and so often an appropriate fit for my life lol. Over a week nose bleed-free, that's a good thing. Passed my competencies and I'm still maintaining my A average in Theory & Practice. Glad that so far my education does not seem to have been impacted by the medical mumbo jumbo. Just my pride and mental well being, but no one can see that so it doesn't count lol.
Thank you every one who took the time to comment or message me following my previous journal entry. I feel like I can't say that enough, I really appreciate it. I'm only as alone as I chose to be with such an amazing support system available 24-7. I haven't meant to keep anyone in the dark the last week or so, but it really was a busy week trying to make up all of the things I missed in class. Sunday I visited my family, a trip I really wish I wouldn't have made. I'm going to keep the details to myself for the moment, as I'm really not ready for advice but I am very very very stressed over some things that are going on with my sister. I don't really know what to do about it though, so I'm trying to focus my attention elsewhere.
I'm getting fat. Hate to say it, but it's the truth. I don't know how fat, but I feel fat. The medium shirt I bought for class is now small on me, and looks ridiculous to be quite honest. I'm constantly trying to cover it with hoodies and jackets. I don't want to wear a long sleeve under it (although it's freezing) because then I feel ... poofy lol. I always said that people are not allowed to complain about their weight if they're not willing to do something about it. Well for the last three months I have been bitching and eating... and bitching and eating. Intermittently I have been exercising, but not nearly what I should. I'm starting again today, for the last time. I am already successful at this, there is no reason to question myself and my ability to get to goal weight by summer. School is hard, family is hard, but weight loss doesn't have to be. Apparently I'm big in the self sabotage department, time to knock that shit off.
So here is my holiday survival plan. Christmas and Thanksgiving are free days (no tracking) of course, but I will limit myself to one plate (regular sized... boo) and one dessert. I am going to be baking cookies, pumpkin rolls, and all that good holiday junk. While reviewing my recipes I'm going to be getting an accurate calorie count so that if I feel tempted I can actually see how it will affect my daily intake. Extra work but once you have it done it's there for life. Plus, I still have most of my holiday foods already in my cook book on here, doesn't get much easier than that! I still have a gym membership, and I still have a fatsecret account so all of my excuses are invalid.
I will officially weigh in next Thursday morning, I'm not waiting until after thanksgiving lol. Hopefully it won't be as bad as I anticipate. And if it is, well then that ought to keep me in line at the feast.
Tomorrow is my husbands birthday. I'm making cupcakes for him, because they're easier to portion control. I will have one, only one. Then I'll take a bunch to my mom Friday morning to eliminate the excess leftovers. Friday my Father-in-law is taking us to dinner at a buffet. Crap, forgot about that. Oh well, I'll do my best and forget the rest. Over the weekend my husband wants to do dinner and a movie. He likes steak houses as its usually pretty easy to find healthy low carb options there, so shouldn't be a problem. Gym, Gym, Gym, that's always been the biggest component and I really need to get back with the program.
I'll start tracking today, and commit to this process once again. My lowest weight ever was 175, I want that back!
Hope everyone here is well!! Have a wonderful day!
Diet Calendar Entry for 19 November 2014:
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1400 kcal
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Fat: 55.36g | Prot: 90.09g | Carb: 134.48g.
Breakfast: Kroger Mild Cheddar Cheese Shredded, Coffee-Mate Original Powder Creamer, Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Egg White, Egg. Lunch: Kraft Light Mayonnaise, Chicken of the Sea Solid White Albacore Tuna in Water (2 oz), Great Value Whole Wheat Bread. Dinner: Egg, Tuna noodle Casserole (268g). Snacks/Other: Quaker Instant Oatmeal - Lower Sugar Apples & Cinnamon, Great Value 2% Reduced Fat Milk, EAS Lean 15 Protein Powder - Chocolate Fudge. more...
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