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I am NOT a soccer mom. Or a softball mom. To be honest I have no freaking clue what is going on during the game and I'm easily distracted by the other moms. I'm lucky if I don't get nailed by a ball because I am not paying attention unless it's my kid doing something. The last softball game I went to I stayed in my car because I could see the field from where I was parked and... gasp.. I woke myself up snoring half way through the game. I tried to meditate during warmup and took a nap instead. AND I don't feel bad about it even though I got THE LOOK from the overly involved moms who brought coolers and tents and these chairs that look like they wanted to be a tent but ended up being a sad lonely looking chair hut.
Why am I ranting about being a non-soccer mom? Because I'm part of a facebook messenger group now.. because this is the new way to communicate everything about games and practices and hair bows and sunscreen suggestions and something about a torq bat thing being illegal. I swear these women have no life. Their universe revolves around their kids and all of the sports they are in. They never miss a game or practice. They never groan and whine is it over yet. They never say screw it and walk around the track while waiting for the game to finish. They never wake themselves up snoring and drooling on themselves in the car. They never take the little kids to the playground because they might miss a catch or a strike or a field goal.. is that soccer of football??
They send messages to one another every 5 freaking minutes!!! Half of them don't even mean anything! All DAY LONG. They request practices on weekends at the last minute. I think the sun that hits the part of their heads not protected by the visor is getting to them.
Starting at 5:45 AM
Coach: Practice tonight from 5-6:30 (no mention of this practice before now)
Mom0: YAY!
Mom1: It's going to be hot. Remember water! :)
Mom2: Water water water!! :)
Mom3: Don't forget your sunscreen! :D
Me: My kid can't make it. We have plans.
Mom4: OH NO!!! :( Due to a previously made appointment my baby won't be able to make it. :( :( :(
Mom4: Is that ok? I am soooooo sorry!!
Mom5: My daughter will definitely be there. Do you want us there early to warm up? :D
Mom6: We will be there!!! We should plan an after season party.
Coach: No Biggy. Thank you.
Mom4: If we could change our plans we would! :)
Mom4: I LOVE the after party. Lets totally do that! :D :D
This goes on.. and on.... and on... Some of the messages are just weird emoji faces. I can't turn off the notification because then I wont know about the last minute practices and location changes and early warmup times to a freaking practice I refuse to go to because I'm taking my other kids to a movie. My universe is not my one kid. I have 3 kids.. and a job.. and a farm.. and I'd like a tiny piece of life for myself. From now on I'm going to these games with a special thermos of "mommy juice". I will be THAT mom. I will be darn proud to be the meditating, snoring, book reading, thermos clutching mommy juice mom. Besides.. if I paid attention to my teen's game and actually cheered for her at the game she would die from mortification.
I wonder what happens when these kids grow up and realize the universe doesn't actually revolve around them.
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 Comments
I so feel this post in my soul. I like watching my kids, but honestly when my kid isn't playing, I'm not paying much attention. I hated going to games by myself, because I'm not a social butterfly, so I never knew any of the other parents or who their kids were. My son plays a couple of sports during the school year, but my hubby is usually able to go with me. I don't know the rules either, so I always hated when I'd hear parents yelling at the players or the teenage umps because my suspicion is that half of them don't really know the rules either and are just yelling to yell. My daughter told us when she played softball that she didn't want us to yell for her because of the mortification factor also, that's just a teenager thing I guess. It will be over soon enough. As long as your kids enjoy it, that's what matters. Nap away, you need the rest when you can get it. ;)
13 Jul 18 by member: mars2kids
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Go to messenger settings, you can mute the convo for varying amounts of time, including "till you want to unmute" :)
17 Jul 18 by member: Rindaloo
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Sorry, go to Facebook Messenger and open the chat you want a break from. Top right is an i in a circle, clicl on that and then on Notifications at the top you see Mute conversation, choose the amount of peace you want :D You can then open chat when you want to see how the conversation is progressing without it notifying you endlessly.
17 Jul 18 by member: Rindaloo
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OMG! Same here , I love your post. I don't like football - soccer or any sport with balls 🙊🙄
23 Jul 18 by member: keilin-4
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