|
I have never been this heavy. Even at 9 months pregnant. I wouldn't say that I have horrible self-esteem but I don't have awesome esteem either. I don't "feel" like I am this FAT, yet looking in the mirror or having a picture taken I feel disgusted and wonder how I still have a husband and how my kid isn't mortified to be seen with me. I look at my wedding pictures and think dear lord that was almost 8 years ago, where's that girl?
I managed to lose weight once and then something happened in life and I de-railed myself. Food is my comfort. It's cheaper to get a box of stuffing for a meal than to eat something healthy.
Treadmill is finally in the basement and we have big plans this year, plans that will involve pictures. I want to look back and remember the fun not how fat I was and only see that.
I am ready. I know not everyday will be perfect. I know that I'll slip and give in to that pasta or mash that I love so much. I know I'll hit a spot were my weight will stay the same for awhile. But I am ready...I have to try, not just for them but mostly for me. To the person I "feel" like I am.
Diet Calendar Entry for 28 February 2014:
|
1785 kcal
|
Fat: 86.00g | Prot: 52.00g | Carb: 209.00g.
Breakfast: Gold Peak Sweetened Iced Tea (12 oz), Frosted Toaster Pastries - Strawberry. Lunch: Dairy Queen Honey Mustard Dressing, Dairy Queen French Fries (Small), Dairy Queen Chicken Fingers. Snacks/Other: Ocean Spray Cranergy Energy Juice Drink - Raspberry Cranberry Lift, Ready Pac Bistro Chicken Caesar Salad. more...
|
|