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How do I get in a dilemma like this?
On the one hand I have my (ex)fiance saying he will do anything to make this work, that he will man up, stop acting like a baby, quit the games, whatever....
And on the other I have my ex husband who has been out of my life for two years and he has actually (finally) realized what a great catch he had and has regretted letting me go every single day since I last left. Now he is saying he will be the husband I always wanted and deserved, no matter what it takes.
WTH? I hate men.
I've talked about the issues w/ my (ex)fiance before and all he did was feel attacked and pout over it and accuse me of wanting to change who he is.... NOW he says he is ready to make a change?
As far as the ex-husband... Sigh. The whole thing there was that I felt lonely, so I started talking to another man online (nothing physical ever happened and we never met), and he didn't forgive me for it, until I left the last time, I guess. He says he has finally let go, and realizes his actions were what pushed me to do that in the first place because he was more excited about being on his own for the first time in his life, and the "new" world of online gaming, than he was about having a wife. Now he says he is ready to give it his all, and really work towards having a happy life together.
This is unfair. I shouldn't blame them, because really, if I was totally happy with my (ex)fiance, I wouldn't have responded to my ex-husband's message. And I knew it would lead to this. Something always seems to pull us back together, whether it is meant to be, or pure stupidity, I'm not sure. Lol. Is that "first love" feeling so strong? Really? After 2 years? I mean, two years isn't a really long time in the grand scheme of things, but it's the longest we've been apart.
Ugh. Hate this. I should just take a vacation alone, get away from it all. Blah. Not that I can afford that or take the time off of work anyway... but I can dream.
Diet and exercise is still fantastic. Not eating the greatest, but the pounds are staying off. Still hitting the gym at least 3 times a week. Should probably work out more, but I've spent a lot of time shopping and walking around aimlessly lately. Trying to sort this whole thing out.
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