Klynn82's Journal, 06 April 2019

I'm so sorry. I feel your despair. 

((Hugz)) All I can offer is that I was dropping weight like crazy last year and if you look at my weight chart you will see a long period where I didn't lose (6/13/18 (170lbs)-7/17/18(180lbs)). All I can say is just-don't-quit. Perhaps my body needed time to 'reconfigure'. Also, it helps when I am thankful for the weight I have lost. I also have to try to be humble and not demand from God that my hopes and expectations be met. Good luck! 

Keep at it! Just like adef said, focus on what you've already accomplished. Drag gave some great advice. I encourage you to take him up on his offer. This is new stuff and sometimes our bodies throw a fit because of the changes. Stay the course and you will see results. ❤ 

you are retaining water for some odd reason. Just take a deep breath. I like to do a little bit of shake up if things get stale. There are many different fast suggestions on the net. Maybe one of them look good to you. About 5 days of very strict more or less one item eating to reset. Or you can do a very short diet break to reset. I hear you on hard to control but it may help. Hugs!!! 

Hi Klynn, from one fellow writer to another. Here is a piece I will leave below that I wrote for my other health and weight loss community last weekend. Perhaps, it might help to expand your perspective and bring a bit more peace to the process. If not, I sincerely petition the universe to help you make it through this moment with the least amount of suffering and the greatest measure of health and vitality your life and body can provide you. Choosing Not to Go Back~ I've been reminiscing about those times when I wondered if I should just give up and throw in the towel, especially with regards to weight loss. Believe it or not, in the 20 months it took me to hit the goal weight I initially established, there was only one time when I considered giving up. I can almost hear the rush of thoughts flooding through the person's head who is reading this right now. -Only one time?! Geez, her weight loss must have been easy! -She must not have had much weight to lose -Definitely not a binger I can assure you, this girl's weight loss was ANYTHING, but linear or easy. I'm down 74 lbs, which does not top the 100 lb mark, but is nonetheless noteworthy. And, I may not have been a "binge" eater, but try on a heavy binge drinker for size. I won't say I had a drinking problem, but I definitely had a problem with drinking, lol. Theres a difference between struggling and wanting to give up. I already knew I was going to struggle. I didn't know how or in what ways. However, it's enough to say I was down for the struggle before I even began this journey. But, giving up was not an option. And I can well remember the struggles. The frustration, or even tears I felt when I stepped on that scale and it didn't give me the number I wanted. I can well remember the absolute resistance this mind felt at letting go of all these long held myths about weight loss. Things like "water weight and inflammation won't impact the scale, I should see a loss anyway." "I don't need to weigh and measure my food, I can just eye ball it. It will be fine." "Wine doesn't have that many calories. I don't need to log it" "I cut out 1000 cals/day - I should have lost twice as much!" "Who cares if I didn't have a bowel movement for 2 days, I stuck to the plan, and should see a loss on the scale dammit!" Anyone who has held on to some of these myths may be able to relate at just how frustrating it is when the brain has to "suck it up" and realize these things DO matter and they can impact not only the rate at which we lose weight, but our capacity to measure what we've lost, which never seems fast enough in our own minds, right? And, then there is the dreaded plateau. And, this is when my reserve began to falter. That point when for whatever reason, no matter how many cals we cut, or how well we practice our healthy habits, exercise, and log our food - the scale won't budge. I was 19 lbs down when mine hit. I tried everything and I was still working out 5 days a week at 1.5 hours at a time. (p.s. I don't exercise that much anymore, lol - I was killin' my poor body!). I tried every deficit under the sun from 1200-1600. I took a 2 week maintenance break, and the scale STILL DID NOT BUDGE UP OR DOWN! It was like this body was in some kind of "weight stasis" between 186-189 lbs. It's really amazing actually, but I wasn't very amused at the time. And, the toddler that is my brain was throwing some MAJOR hissy fits. At 19 lbs down, I was no where near where I wanted to be, physically exhausted, and starting to feel helpless and very discouraged. On the other hand, 6 months into these practices and it felt weird to consider actually giving them up. This believe it or not is what saved my a$$. At 19 lbs down, I may not have been losing anymore weight, but there was no denying the lifestyle I practiced had created a lot of positive changes. I was drinking less for one thing. I used to drink over a half a magnum of wine/per night. I now drank one measured 6 oz glass, and honestly felt a LOT better. In fact, my sleep was stellar! And, even at 5'2 and 186 lbs, all the strength, cardio, and resistance training had created some very nice muscle tone, which was allowing me to excel physically in other ways that made my life less challenging than it was before. My confidence and sense of calm had increased, and despite the frustrating plateau, I found I was riddled with a LOT less anxiety over situations that once brought me stress. Was I willing to give all that up, just because I wasn't seeing the number I wanted? I may not have been at my goal weight, but wasn't I already embodying the healthy woman I wanted to become? And, readily reaping the benefits despite what the number on the scale read. When I imagined giving up all the healthy habits I had created, my life honestly looked empty and unappealing to me. There was something about the practice of these habits that gave me a sense of purpose and direction in addition to a sense of wholeness. If I just threw in the towel, would I just go back being the person I was before, drinking heavily, over-eating, and not having any energy or drive to explore things I was genuinely interested in? The very thought of "going backwards" made me feel empty and heavy with despair. No, plateau or not, I did not want to go back to the previous lifestyle. This one I had created may be tough, but it definitely had its rewards that went beyond the rewards of the scale. I didn't want to give those things up, and it was a joy to realize I didn't have too. And, so I gave myself permission to keep going and reminded myself that if 186 lbs was where my body wanted to stay then I was going to be the healthiest fittest 5'2, 186 lb girl that ever lived! And, that became the drive and purpose to keep me going and propel me forward. The plateau did finally break over 2 months later, and I was happy. But, I gotta tell you the greatest feeling came from knowing I chose not to give up on the person I was becoming. In fact, the most beautiful part about recalling that moment is realizing, who I was becoming in every, way, shape, and form as a result of practicing these habits was far more important to my happiness and well being than any number that scale might ever provide. And, that truth still stands to this day.  

Don't take a diet break, take a scale break. Keep doing what you know works, forget the, "idiot box", and just do your thing, there are other markers to go by to know whether you're making progress or not.  

The weight you’ve already lost is more than most people can do and proves that you can do it. Our bodies go through phases (hormonal changes, etc) and, for me at least, it makes my hunger fluctuate. Sometimes I want to eat everything in sight. I try to minimize the damage (fill up with protein and fruit), trust God, keep praying and refuse to give up. If I wait a few days, my hunger will abate and I can get back on track. You’ve proven you can do it!!!! 

You mentioned cico.... I’m just gonna say, maybe this is not you. I swear by cico in a low calorie deficit. Never a high calorie deficit, because this is counterproductive 

In the beginning you are all happy excited by results so you starve/fast yourself 

You don’t don’t understand what this does to your body, you are forcing it to adapt to a lower calorie maintenance intake 

Body thinks it’s starving so our bodies are so efficient that they say “ hey metabolism slow down we are starving here” 

So you screw up ur metabolism 

Of course there is a way to “fix” this....taking a diet break and eating at maintenance for as long as your body needs to. 

Than starting your diet again with a 10% calorie deficit and losing weight at a slow, steady, sustainable way. 

Your body is not a machine. It needs time to adapt. It does not know anything about numbers on a scale. It just knows it has to survive. That is what it is programmed for in its DNA. You have to learn how to teach it that different fuel [food] intakes is not threatening its survival. But it takes time. I have learned, thru looking at my food diary, that my body was protesting and refusing to let go of stored fat because it was convinced I was starving it to death by not providing enough fats and protein to meet my Keto macros. Once I started improving those numbers, my body said "Oh, OK, I can relax a little and not be so uptight as to hang on to what fat I have stored and stop storing up even more." Then the numbers on the scale, instead of increasing just like yours did despite under-eating, started to come down again. Slowly, because the body was not fully trusting, but down, nonetheless. And all the while, I was retaining that reluctant body to be more efficient in using the fuel I was providing. Feeling tired, physically weak and mentally weak are all symptoms of not enough protein for YOUR body. Standard macros might not work for YOU. Take a close look at your food diary. Take a good, CLOSE look at what fuel you are providing your body and tweak as you think is necessary. One tweak might not work. Another will. It is nature. Eventually you will find the WOE that makes both you and your body happy. Your original weighty body did not happen overnight. Neither will the re-training process. It will take weeks and months, but that time is going to go by anyway. You might as well be doing something good and positive for yourself as it goes by. You are eating healthier, cleaner, less toxic food. That is a huge plus right there. The numbers on the scale do not tell you how happy your body cells inside of you are from being treated right and not dealing with the poison of fast food junk and additives. Be patient. Be kind to yourself. Celebrate the good you are doing to yourself even if the results are a ways off. I think you are AMAZING just for being on the journey. It is RARE that anyone has the character and fortitude you have shown so far. YOU are in an elite, special rank of people in this world .. in the top 1 or 2% of people who have special resilience and stamina and COURAGE just to come as far as you have come. People like Mt Everest Climbers and Astronauts are in that group ... and YOU are too. You may not feel that way about yourself right now, but boy, the rest of us know understand the journey sure do! You are saying no to bingeing and TV food-comas and you are saying YES to walking the dog. You are saying YES to asking for support. Countless people do not and they sink back into their hole, deeper than before. YOU are NOT one of those people. YOU are an inspiration, a role-model. YOU have this, Klynn. You Do. Patience, girl. Patience. Post every day, no matter what. WE are all here for you and we have great respect for YOUR progress. You have this. 

*re-training 

Girl, you are not eating enough, Rosio is right, CICO doesn't work that way, and Diet Break doesn't mean you have to eat everything in sight, or all the calories you want. Draglist, Egull1 and Rosio are very good with that, maybe you should ask them for advices, this should pass. Be strong. 💕🙏 

Omg this is why I love this group ❤️😊 you got this hun. You have already lost a lot👍💪 you are getting wonderful advice..... I know because I always see what they are doing and it works. About 2 months ago I hit a 2-3 week plateau. I was so frustrated but then I started dropping again and it was more slow and steady. My biggest thing is I love my WOE it’s so easy for me to do and it’s my lifestyle change. I was never able to do that before. 

Join a,diet program even if it's temp just to get a kick started. Just try a,regular diet based on calorie intake. Make it as,simple as possible. Don't give up 

You've gotten a lot of advice here, @Klynn82 - much of it conflicting. Since you prayed for help, I know you will be receptive to this. Here's what the Word of God has to say: "When all kinds of trials and temptations crowd into your lives don’t resent them as intruders, but welcome them as friends! Realise that they come to test your faith and to produce in you the quality of endurance. But let the process go on until that endurance is fully developed, and you will find you have become (people) of mature character with the right sort of independence. And if, in the process, any of you does not know how to meet any particular problem, he has only to ask God — who gives generously to all without making them feel foolish or guilty — and (s)he may be quite sure that the necessary wisdom will be given." (James 1:2-5, J. B. Phillips New Testament) My prayer for you: "Dear Lord, you have heard the cry of this dear sister, and I know you are attentive to her every need. You store her every tear in a bottle. Every hair on her head is numbered, and you made every cell in her body. YOU are the Great Physician, and wrote the "Owner's Manual" for Klynn's life. I thank You that Klynn's battle belongs to You, and that You have ALREADY planned out how this situation will be successfully resolved. Please give her patience to wait for this gain to stop, and for her weight to go back down again, as it surely will." Isaiah 40:31: "They that WAIT upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." You are to be commended for having endured three days of significant gains without caving to the temptation to just throw in the towel and take another long detour before getting back on the road in your weight-loss journey. Be strong. Joy comes in the morning.