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Weight History
showing entries 1 to 5 of 17
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31 July 2011
Weigh-in:
190.0 lb
lost so far:
0 lb
still to go:
62.0 lb
Diet followed poorly
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losing 0.8 lb a week
16 June 2011
Weigh-in:
195.0 lb
lost so far:
0 lb
still to go:
67.0 lb
Diet followed poorly
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gaining 0.3 lb a week
19 August 2010
Weigh-in:
183.0 lb
lost so far:
0 lb
still to go:
55.0 lb
Diet followed reasonably well
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losing 1.8 lb a week
11 August 2010
Weigh-in:
185.0 lb
lost so far:
0 lb
still to go:
57.0 lb
Diet followed reasonably well
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losing 9.8 lb a week
07 August 2010
Today was a blah day. I slept most of it, felt like I just couldn't stay awake, but then again my day starts at 1:30 - 2:00pm since I go to work at 11pm. My whole life just feels blah though. Feels like I'm in a rut again going no where but I have a job, my bills are paid up to date and I have money in the bank so why am I feeling so useless? Is because I don't spend as much time with my kids anymore? Is it because all I've done is gain weight since I've started this website? What am I doing wrong? I exercise, I eat right 6 out of 7 days a week, I'm on the lowest dose possible for my meds and yet I'm still gaining weight. I literally put everything I've eaten in my food diary even if it was a 500 calorie smoothie from McDs I'll write it down. I look at labels always and stopped eating most of my favorite foods if I can't make a lower cal/fat version of it.
My metabolism is so messed up right now because of the Grave's disease that I think thats why I'm not losing but I can't just stop taking my meds otherwise I'll get this huge goiter in my neck which is really attractive, makes me look like I swallowed a small animal & its just waiting in my neck to be digested, kinda like a snake does.
My relationship life sucks like always but its my fault now. I'm choosing to stay in the bad situation for some reason. It's like a really bad car accident, you don't wanna look at it but you can't seem to look away. Maybe its because I feel like theres some sort of unfinished business between us, hes my oldest son's father and HS sweetheart. Everything in my head says run like hell far far away, but my heart is the stupid one that keeps saying but I love him how can I leave him alone? I wanna just strangle that chic inside my heart sometimes, I mean really beat the crap out of her, but then I wouldn't be any different than all the other losers that have already came by and did that. I hate myself with him. I deserve better and I know it but its kinda like I'm just with him to pascify myself for now until my dream guy does come along. Well I'm done talking about all that, if anyone knew the whole true story about us they would wonder why I'm still with him too.
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