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omgiardt's Journal

 
showing entries 1 to 4 of 4

27 August 2012

Weigh-in: 238.0 lb lost so far: 5.0 lb still to go: 73.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment losing 0.2 lb a week

11 January 2012

10 January 2012

So I am starting this ... I want to loose a good portion of my weight. I am almost at my heaviest and really have never been thin. Not looking to be thin.. I would be really content with 165 that makes me about a size 14 or so and that is fine with me. Knowing that this is about 80lbs is really messing with me thought because my lowest at an adult is 170 and I was not super happy then either.

I guess outwardly I am confident but on the inside I have always been really worried. My mom was into all kinds of fun drugs and still drinks like a fish. Dad is a real winner and lets me know just how fat I am too...even as a small child, so that is super too. In my family we are all big girls... all of us. My grandmothers ass is a landmark even now that she is old and thin so I have no delusions of grandeur being some super model.

I really want to loose so I can have selfish things like shop where I want and mean it when I want to get freaky with my husband in some slutty outfit. He always tells me I am beautiful so I know he is happy no matter what but I want to look better. After 3 kids I know some things are going to sag, and I am ok with that too. I would never want to wear a bikini or sport a tube top .... that is just scary, but if my love wanted it I sure would like to do it for him.

I want to feel on the outside like I do on the inside and both need help. I am a grown ass woman and know when to admit it. Life is hard and if you don't watch out it can really feel harder than it is, and it shows lately.

I am ready for a life change and need the help to get there. I am weak in the evenings and when I get bored. I eat when I get upset and this past 2 years was as hard as it comes. I come from a messed up family life like we all do.... only really abusive and crazy. It is just who I am and I accept it all as it comes but sometimes I get really depressed and eat... .or sleep or cry or laugh it off or pretend nothing is wrong then pay for it a week later. I am human and am happy to ask for help. My awesome husband and kids are my outlet and I am lucky to have all that I have been blessed with.

I started the slim fast pills and got a membership at the local ymca and my husband and I both work out regularly now. Not together because I am not the machine he is getting up at the ass-crack of dawn around 5am of course, but he goes early and I go around lunch. It is working out good when I go. I am not as regular as I should though.... 2 or 4 times a week is what I have been averaging. I get on the recumbent bike for 35 min or so at the weight loss level, that is 9 for 3bars and 5 for 2 bars for 30 min then the cool down. It is around 7 miles or so. Then I go to the weights for one or 2 rounds.

I hope this works because I really need to see a difference. I neeeed to feel the difference too.

10 January 2012

Weigh-in: 243.0 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 78.0 lb Diet followed N/A

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