m4k2004's Journal

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13 November 2010

See I knew yesterday was just being bloated. I even pigged out last night (hence why I didn't enter my dinner hahaha) and am down to 196.6. Woot. I am getting excited. I got up this morning to get ready for work and went to put my jeans on. They fit so nicely and didn't have to lay on the bed to get them all the way on. I love this feeling!

Happy Saturday to all, I'm off to work at the concession stands!

Weigh-in: 196.6 lb

lost so far: 16.4 lb

still to go: 66.6 lb

Diet followed reasonably well

(2 comments) losing 9.8 lb a week

12 November 2010

So weigh in time. I am not happy with 198 after a week but I realize I've got a lot of water retention going on with the salty foods I've been eating, in addition to mother nature. So I'm just going to accept it and keep working on it. Next week I should see a difference since I won't have one the problems in my way.

Oh well, shiz happens as they say.

I have been drinking a ton of water...some diet dr. peppers but mostly water. For some reason, I don't even like drinking soda as much as I used to. I think that's a good thing :).

Last night Keith made dinner. OMGOSH, he made stuffed chicken breats and they were divine. I ate the smallest breast but I know it was filled with ridiculously unhealthy stuff. However, I stayed below 1500 calories yesterday and while it is more than what I usually have, I am not going to have a cow. Nor am I going to turn into one.

I hope everyone has a great day. It's a cool morning here so far, am hoping for a bit of a warm up so I can walk today. Have been having to work out with the TV since Keith is never home before dark anymore :(

Weigh-in: 198.0 lb

lost so far: 15.0 lb

still to go: 68.0 lb

Diet followed reasonably well

add comment losing 0.4 lb a week

11 November 2010

Tough day. I just sat here and ate lunch, was full and went ahead and ate some baked dorittos with french onion dip.

On the positive side, I realize the weight flucuation throughout the week has an explanation. My monthly visitor arrived last night. I'm so thrilled. Just in time for weigh in tomorrow. UGH. yes I realize it is water weight but still, annoying.

Anyway, have a great day....now I must go make it up to myself for eating that many chips. lol!

(2 comments)

08 November 2010

CHOICES!

Man today was a difficult day food wise. Breakfast, lunch and snacks I made it through but tonight I made Cube steak and mushroom gravy, mashed potatoes and mac and cheese for Keith and the kids. Keith has had little to no beef products in the last three months so I gave in and fixed them a very unhealthy dinner.

I chose to take one bite of his cube steak and gravy (ONLY one bite), have a half cup of mashed potatoes and a lean cuisine for myself. I know I probably could have gotten away with eating A SERVING of the cube steak and gravy but I won't. Yes, I know the prepared foods have their own drawbacks but I was pushing it with my calories today. Before dinner I had taken in over 700. Not bad considering but I really try to stick to right around 1200...no less but not a whole lot more either. I know I could probably get by with about 1500 but this isn't about getting by.

Anyway, I think I made the right decision. And tomorrow night is salmon. I can't wait. I have never really cared for salmon but have learned to really like it and learn new ways to prepare that make me feel good about eating it. However, talapia is not something I think I want to eat a whole lot of. I will buy it and eat it again but not like we did last month LOL!

Anyway, I noticed I am eating a lot of carbs so going to have to watch that. I realize that I am counting calories, but my carb intake has been really high with my protein intake kind of taking the background. Seems that happened when I moved to eating those Fiber One muffins for breakfast instead of turkey bacon, egg, and wheat toast. That being said, those muffins are really awesome :) 190 calories is a lot for one muffin, but with all the fiber, I usually feel full for 3-4 hours after eating one. Going to finish out the ones I have and try not to buy anymore...I really need the protein I got from eggs.

The fudge apparently did kick my butt as the scale suggested this morning. However I realize my weight flucuates a lot during the week so not going to have a cow...yet. I do realize I've been slipping a lot and that's fine. However the slipping has to go. I am doing this for a reason and I want to continue being successful at doing it.

How are you all?

Anyway, got a final to get to working on and some homework to do! Time to get off here and get busy :)

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07 November 2010

Okay I am recording a journal entry because I've done horrible today and I recognize that.

Keith made fudge last night and I wasn't tempted too badly. Today though I got off course. I really should have made him take that fudge with him to work but I didn't. And I really should have skipped the fudge and made myself some lunch but I didn't. I ate fudge and potato chips for lunch. SICK AND DISGUSTING is how I felt afterwards. I am not kidding...my body is no longer accustomed to that much junk food and I really got sick enough to throw up! NO, I did not throw up cause I realized I was over-doing it...I threw up because my body just went in shock or something.

Now, yes I made a big mistake. I hold myself accountable for that. I did not eat any other snacks or lunch and honestly I am not hungry right now. I will make myself eat some dinner. And no I am not going to use the excuse since I screwed up I can eat whatever I want the rest of the day. It does NOT work like that. I will make a dinner that will fit into my caloric budget. However, tomorrow that damn fudge is going to work with Keith. The chips aren't too bad and only ate them cause the fudge was just too sweet and I needed some balance.

Am I mad at myself for eating all that fudge? YES. Am I going to let it discourage me? Hell no! I've come too far to fall.

I am still doing really well with not eating out. We did go to Cracker Barrell as a family this past week and i honestly don't regret that we did. We ate dinner and even had dessert. I think because we hardly ever do it anymore, it made the occassion that much more special. And yes, I had some bad for me foods. Still don't regret it.

Some many times I have started dieting and never been successful. This time I've dropped 21 pounds altogether so far and have honestly not stopped eating what I wanted. I have come to realize that moderation and changes I can live with permanently are the key...not dieting...not starving and most certaininly not depriving myself of chocolate and yummy stuff.

I am still a long long way from reaching my goals but I feel better every day. And yes I've been peaking at the scales and no I will not tell you till Friday or Saturday hehe! Although I will say this, I am less than 198 now...not much but still less :)

The personal problems I have been having have had a lot to do with my relationship. Keith is a wonderful man but things got a little weird for awhile. However, he and I are back on track and loving each other more than ever. and he is being as supportive as a skinny guy can be. In my last journal I said I originally started this journey so that he would be more attracted to me. That is partially true. And what I thought he wanted. But I am beginning to realize the thing he missed about me was the fact that I had some pride and self esteem when we first got together.

3 months into this journey and things are different. My motivation is more about getting healthy and having the energy to play with my kids by the time summer gets here again. Not to mention, the feeling of accomplishment I have had helps my own insecurities. It's hard to explain but yes I do feel better about myself from the inside out.

Okay, off to work out with Jillian on the tv since it's too cold walk (my muscles are still yelling at me from yesterday!~) then cook some dinner! I hope you all have a great evening! Love yourself, respect yourself and take care of yourself :)

Emotional eating does NOT have to take over your life!

<3

(4 comments)

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