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Weight History
showing entries 1 to 5 of 10
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03 February 2012
Weigh-in:
310.0 lb
lost so far:
0 lb
still to go:
150.0 lb
Diet followed reasonably well
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losing 1.9 lb a week
12 January 2012
Weigh-in:
316.0 lb
lost so far:
0 lb
still to go:
156.0 lb
Diet followed reasonably well
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losing 3.5 lb a week
04 January 2012
Weigh-in:
320.0 lb
lost so far:
0 lb
still to go:
160.0 lb
Diet followed reasonably well
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gaining 15.4 lb a week
30 December 2011
Weigh-in:
309.0 lb
lost so far:
0 lb
still to go:
149.0 lb
Diet followed poorly
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gaining 0.3 lb a week
08 October 2011
Ive been having such a hard time lately. My battle is totally with myself. Ive had some pretty major things happen over the past few months, and it has thrown me completely off track. I am eating like shit, not taking my meds regularly, and def not exercising!
When I get depressed, I feel vunerable and sad, so I eat. Because when I feel full, I feel safe. I dont know why, but I do. The feel heqavy feeling I have makes me feel stronger in some sick way and what ends up happening is as soon as I start to digest, and the load lightens, I find myself goig right back for more. Then of course I realizse what Im doing, which makes me disgusted with myself, and I spiral downward again.
Talking about it only makes me cry, which gets me more depressed. Ignoring it turns me into a total bitch and I end up lashing out at those around me. I know what I have to do in order to lose weight and feel better, but I have ZERO motivation to do it. I have the will but not the desire. I have the need but not the want.
I jusdt dont know how to snap myself out of this black hole. I desperately need to get back on track and I know that I can do it, I just want to know understand why I wont.
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