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17 September 2008

OK Journal ... I totally need you today.......

here it goes....
Rent was late... then got lost. Landlord is freaking out. Now she is coming by saturday to do an inspection. I have been spring cleaning like crazy. Then she calls tonight to tell me,AGAIN, that the rent didnt make it. I told her it was a money order and she YELLED at me to just put a stop payment on it. I didnt know you could do that. I told her we would tomorrow at DH's lunch break. I cant do it. I didnt get the money order he did. BUT i will go with him and see what we can do.

I am soooooooooo stressed i didnt even want to eat. I cried for 30 minutes. But with all the stressed it helped me clean. At least i can do that right today.

I hope she knows she made me cry and I hope she feels bad. SHE SHOULD.

enough bitching.. Goodnight

15 September 2008

We didn't do much saturday, just kinda hung out around the house watching movies and such. The mother in law was here part of the time and then she stayed the night and left early sunday morn. I really enjoy her company. I am very lucky to have a wonderful mother in law. Sunday Morning we got up pretty early (early for me) and went to my dads, across town. My Dad, do, and brother in law cut down two of my Dads trees. It was a huge project. they started at about 10AM and didn't finish until 7PM. WE did make them stop for dinner though. I got to spend the whole day with my older sister. It was really nice. Neither of us had brought our kids so we got to really just hang out. We have our moments but mostly get along great. We talked m cooked and crocheted all day. I made potatoe salad and baked beans. She marinated the tri-tips and prepared a fruit salad. And we played waitress' for the men who needed cool drinks all day.

Saturday afternoon.. I finally remembered Sunday was our 15th wedding anniversary.
Hubby had made plans for us to go to dinner on sunday BUt i had messed that up by telling my dad we would help him. But we did have a good weekend being with both of our families.

I am really tired today. Must have been all the good food yesterday. LOL I have to do a few things around the house but other than that I am taking it easy today. When I get tired it really gets me down. And I am not wanting to have a bad week like last week so I am going to take care of me this week.

11 September 2008

Weigh-in: 280.6 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 100.6 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment gaining 0.6 lb a week

10 September 2008

I am having a hard time.

most of you know I suffer from cronic depression, anxiety and stinking bipolar. And my hubby was home for 3 yrs due to an accident at work. He did all the cooking and I was working. Recently (say last 2 months) he went back to work and I quit due to my incredible stress and axiety. ALso my kids are now in school, leaving me home along all day. It is kinda nice to be able to have some quiet time. But then again I am very lonely and i miss my kids' help around the house. (girl 17, boy 11)

They used to help me alot and also my daughter just helped me get focused. I would be able to ask her to do something while I did something else. I am finding that I am so overwhelmed that I cant seem to do anything. Grrrrrrrrrrr

My problem is. I am now having to figure out dinner and prepare it. which It is very hard to do for me. I have been trying my best and getting dinner done 4 out of 7 days. Hubby and kids taking turns the other days. Or we do it together.

ALso we are on a terribly tight budget. Which making healthy meals seems pretty hard for me. SOOOOOOOOOOOOO... I have been just trying to eat smaller portions and have healthier snacks.

Anyways my problem is... I am not really dieting. just trying to eat smaller and exercise more. To...
1) help with the depression= getting out in the sun and exercising.
2) build a routine/ habit of exercising.
3) hopefully lose some weight in the proccess.


08 September 2008

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