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14 Luna's and Counting! Feeling good still. I got a dress for my nephew's wedding (3 sizes smaller then when I started) so I am very happy to find something that I like and feel good in. I had my 6 month www.fatsecret.com anniversary this week, and I just keep telling myself that it took 10+ years to get it all on, so what's one year in getting it back off?
I do worry (already!) about keeping it off, and I am not usually a worrier. But 2 people in my life, in the few months, have put on at least 1/2 of the weight they lost... I just don't want to have to go through this again. But Chantell and I have a life-long plan, and we are sticking to it!
Chantell joined the same day as I did, and is also doing great. I went out there for a visit last week and she gave me a Closet FULL of clothes the next size down, so just a few more weeks, at best, until I have a closet full of clothes I can wear. I am very excited and grateful for that! As nice as it is to be 3 sizes down, I have very few things to wear, it seems everything in my closet is too big or too small, or just doesn't fit right. I've been buying in the Clearance sections and even some at Thrift Stores - I live in Boca Raton, our Thrift stores tend to be a little nicer than most ;-) - so it's just a huge mishmash in my there. Not being a clothes horse, I dread going in there and figuring out what to wear.
Weird, I know. Most women who have dropped 40+ lbs would be running to their closets. Plus, it's kind of depressing. Because even 40 lbs down, I'm still heavy. Hell, I am still fat. I weirdly feel fatter now then when we started. Which I know is just because I am conscience of it, but it hasn’t helped that virtually no one has noticed.
A few of my friends, who know what I've lost, have told me it's because I am so animated and outgoing that people never thought of me as fat in the first place - Lord knows I didn't - but I just think it’s weird…. Lots of women in our office building have lost (and gained!) weight, and they are always commenting on in it the elevators, ladies rooms, etc. Not me, no one says a word! Well, my neighbor Loraine noticed, but that’s it. The other neighbors, nothing. KevKev, not a word. The Gibsons, nada. The ladies in my building, unnoticed. Even Noel, I sent her a picture of me in the wedding dress, and she just commented how nice it looked, not did I lose weight?
And it’s not like I am not always talking, friendly and complimentary to those people. Jayne finally asked me the other day, “have you lost some weight” – how was I supposed to respond, “yes, 38 lbs”, so I just said, “yes, some”. At 20 lbs it didn’t bother me. At 40 lbs, it’s really freaking me out. What the fuck? Am I just so fat still people are scared I’m just having a day where I look nice and they don’t want to embarrass me?
It’s 17.5% of my starting weight, how is it possible that no one notices that? Well, I guess it’s starting to bother me ;-) But screw them all. I am doing this for me, me, me and Mattio. And I work at my best when I am pissed off, and pissed off I am. How many times have I complimented the people in my life for their accomplishments? Went out of my way to make them feel good? Seriously, no one can be bothered to notice what I’ve accomplished. So FUCK them, that just makes me want to be the skinniest person I know. As soon as I hit my goal weight I am going to adjust it down by 30 more lbs. Let’s see no one notice that I weigh 145. At my height and bone structure, I will be in a size 8. Any maybe that won’t be enough. Maybe I will go for broke and lose more the 100 lbs. Then maybe, just maybe, one of the self centered shit-heads that I surround myself with will notice that I look a little different.
:-)
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200.4 lb
Lost so far: 41.6 lb.
Still to go: 52.9 lb.
Diet followed 100%.
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Diet Calendar Entry for 08 April 2012:
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1329 kcal
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Fat: 40.83g | Prot: 88.80g | Carb: 152.97g.
Breakfast: Reduced Fat Crumbled Feta Cheese, Diced Jalapeno Peppers, Spray Butter! Original Spray, Spinach, Egg White, Toasted 100% Whole Wheat English Muffin, Turkey Bacon, SAN SUCRE CINN SUGAR SUB, soy creamer, coffee. Lunch: Peanut Wonder, egg bread, Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast, 100 calorie snack pack guacamole, Whole Wheat Salad Pocket, Diet Coke, Cucumber (with Peel). Dinner: chala bread, potatoe, Szechwan Shrimp. Snacks/Other: peppermint bark, Diet Orange Soda, Pomegranate Lemonade Nourishing Drink Mix, almonds cocoa 100. more...
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losing 3.9 lb a week
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