Absynthia's Journal, 03 August 2017

I don't even know how to start this journal entry. It took me 2 years to lose 130+ pounds, and another 2 years to gain it all back.

Last week, on July 27th, I found out I'd lost a dear friend during the night. The week before that, I had to put down my dog and literal best friend, who I'd had over 10 years and loved so much. I've been in a deep depression for a long time, even before those things happened. I'm unhappy with my job that I've been at for almost 14 years and know it's time to make a change, but can't seem to cut the strings. I'm underpaid and in dire financial straits. My relationship is strained and needs attention and work. My health has declined, I'm sure directly related to my weight gain. It's been a struggle for a long time just to get through my day.

July 27th would have also been my mother's birthday. I miss her so much.

I realized I was at an all-time low in my life and I needed to just lay down and give up, or stand up and fight. It was time to take back control. I took the first step, by going back on the eating plan that has worked so well for me in the past. I've dropped lbs every day -- I'm sure most of it is fluid, by I already am feeling better and my energy level has gone up. I can see past the fog.

I won't say I'm standing yet, but at least I'm crawling. Tomorrow is my 47th birthday. I'm not ready to give up.
370.0 lb Lost so far: 23.0 lb.    Still to go: 120.0 lb.    Diet followed 100%.
losing 12.0 lb a week

27 Supporters    Support   

Comments 
Great job getting back to work and not giving up! I had a similar job situation a few years ago and leaving that position made such a huge difference for me! I encourage you to see your worth and go find a job that appreciates you financially. 
03 Aug 17 by member: happytime47
I am also 47 and my relationship has been strained and broke last week after 17 years I started my diet 2 weeks ago and lost 16 pounds by not eating loads of carbs. re educated my self by knowing what calories I am eating and drinking I used to blame it on age but it was poor lifestyle causing poor health. I was starting to feel better then my wife told me she had no feelings for me anymore, I am using losing weight to keep me positive, have a great birthday stay positive and if you value your relationship work hard at it other wise you will end up like me. best of luck 
03 Aug 17 by member: darrencarter
I'm so glad you chose to fight! We're here to encourage you along the way. Sometimes learning to crawl gives you the strength to stand. Hang in there - I'm pulling for you! I clicked on "follow" so I can watch for your progress. {{{Hugs}}} 
03 Aug 17 by member: Hipaagrammy
I love the saying "the best days in your life could be in your future". Take action and make the changes necessary to make that a reality! Think positive and carry on!  
03 Aug 17 by member: Little Red Fox
Do you have some kind of support system? I would recommend a local church to find people to come alongside you.  
03 Aug 17 by member: grammapatti
I have fought depression and anxiety all my life and take daily medication. perhaps seeing a doctor and taking something can help you in the short term. there are herbal things to try. treating the depression will make it easier to deal with the other issues. remember to take 3 deep breaths because this helps your brain get more oxygen to think clearly. I am 69 and may not exactly what you are feeling I hope I have offered some suggestions. try to find a positive message to read each day hear the message. inhale courage, exhale fear 
03 Aug 17 by member: sandynsa66
God is in control please just give it over to him...Stay positive and never give up things will get better hun 
03 Aug 17 by member: msdeelove34
Never give up on you. Ever. You came here to do amazing things, and you still have it in you. There is a great community here to support you along the way. Call on us! Let us be that reminder in the night. You've made a great start. Don't give up. And Happy Birthday! 
03 Aug 17 by member: mskestrela
Please know that many of us have been where you are and understand how difficult it can be. Take a series of baby steps. One at a time...and over time you will achieve greater things and improved health and feelings of well being. Every step in the right direction is a step in the right direction! You can do this! My suggestion would be to start converting to whole foods and cut out the processed foods, sugar, and grains. Every week, make one small positive change. You don't have to do it all at once. You will be amazed at how much better you feel in a relatively short time. 
03 Aug 17 by member: Bitsyk
Thank you for all of the comments and support. It means a lot to me. <3 I would love to have more friends on here if anyone wants to add me. I will try to keep updated with my progress. 
04 Aug 17 by member: Absynthia

     
 

Submit a Comment


You must  sign in to submit a comment
 

Other Related Links

Members



Absynthia's weight history


Get the app
    
© 2024 FatSecret. All rights reserved.