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Things are really tough right now. My own health, both physical and emotional, is poor, plus my dad is in the hospital in failing health. Which makes my mother, who already suffers from anxiety, a total mess. I am trying to hold it together as best that I can, but I feel almost paralyzed, and more and more I hear myself saying "Food is the only good thing I have right now." Which isn't 100% true, of course -- I have other good things in my life. But it feels like everything is so fleeting, and food is ALWAYS good. It never lets me down.
Hello compulsion. You're a tough habit to break. I just have to keep going forward. Focus on my successes and not so much the ways that I don't reach my goals. I need to start writing again and get some income coming in. I need to hold on.
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257.0 lb
Lost so far: 3.0 lb.
Still to go: 58.0 lb.
Diet followed poorly.
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Diet Calendar Entry for 05 October 2009:
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2164 kcal
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Fat: 106.14g | Prot: 107.01g | Carb: 190.97g.
Breakfast: Carnation Instant Breakfast Strawberry, skim milk. Lunch: Green Olives, Cream Cheese, Whole Grain White Bread. Dinner: green olives, Cream cheese, Whole Grain White Bread, Sweet Corn, Skinless, boneless chicken breast. Snacks/Other: 75% cabot cheddar, Salsa, White Corn Tortilla Chips, carb smart ice cream bar, potato chips, Michelob ultra beer. more...
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steady weight
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