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Last night I was so mad at my husband I ate, and ate and ate. 100 tootsie rolls later I was done. My stomach hurt and I looked over at the pile of wrappers and was like, I didnt do that! I did do that though, all by myself and regardless of who I was mad at or how I was feeling it was completely inappropriate and my fault.
Why am I doing this? I need to sit down and think about that. There is a reason, a deeper than the I just want to eat answer. I started to get so proud of myself because it was after 9 and I had nothing to eat since 6. I started to tell myself I can do it, I am going to do it tonight yay I feel so good. Thats when I went to the kitchen and got a tootsie roll. WTHeck?!?!?!
I was arguing with my husband and feeling unwanted and I dunno just used that as an excuse to get high (on tootsie rolls). I gotta stop. I have to. Im going to gain it all back and more. Gosh what is wrong with me???
I was thinking about joining a gym. I hate spending money and if I spent the money for the membership then maybe I would go. Maybe its what I need uninterrupted exercise time away from my 4 kids. Too bad I couldnt go on biggest loser. What ever I can do I need to do now before I get into the 170s then 180s then 200s. I cant go there anymore. This was a lifestyle change and something happened in Alaska or after that set the switch in motion and now I am here.
I gotta fix this.
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166.0 lb
Lost so far: 88.0 lb.
Still to go: 8.0 lb.
Diet followed poorly.
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gaining 3.5 lb a week
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 Comments
sorry about the issues with hubby, however you are resonsible for what you put in your mouth...at least you are aware that you did it and are trying to fix the "why"...good luck, you have done great so far - dont give up now
17 Sep 09 by member: veggies yuk
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I think it is important to get to the bottom of why. We can not fix what we don't understand. I wish you success!
17 Sep 09 by member: dawn0001
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Thanks, as a start i threw out all the junk food.
17 Sep 09 by member: yogamama3
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That's hard to do, isn't it? (throwing out all junk food) Especially if you have a husband who will complain if the junk food isn't around!! ;-)
17 Sep 09 by member: twilightmom
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OR KIDS,LOL. plus its $ wasted which i cant stand.
17 Sep 09 by member: yogamama3
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Easy access to junk food is difficult for me, especially when I am stressed. Better to "binge" on healthy things ... I've been known to make a GIANT green salad at times ... air popped popcorn ... I still consume more calories than normal but I get the crunching munching action going and the full feeling without making myself sick. You will figure this out. Actually I think you already know that answers ... maybe you just haven't slowed yourself down enough to really consider what you already know. Eating ... in the moment ... makes me feel something other than what I was feeling before I started eating. So, it is like medication ... with some side effects I don't always want to put up with. At least part of the time it is. Hang in there my friend ... sorry you and hubby were squabbling ... it happens )~;
17 Sep 09 by member: madaboutmoose
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I agree with madaboutmoose. Easy access to junk food is VERY difficult for me, too. I went over to my parents' house today with the boys and my mother gave them some donuts and oreo cookies. Talk about sugar overload! But, I confess, it looked pretty good to me too, and I had 2 Oreos and 1/2 a donut. lol I was doing so well today picking healthy food up until then, darn it. I bet my willpower is much more lacking than yours, yogamama! haha Some days I swear I have none.
17 Sep 09 by member: twilightmom
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Oh, and P.S., I am such a totally frugal person that I too cannot stand having to buy junk food. I keep a tight grocery budget and I hate wasting any of that money on things like Swiss Cake Rolls and cookies, or anything else that will tempt me endlessly. (I swear they call my name from the cupboard!)
17 Sep 09 by member: twilightmom
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twilightmom ... those foods call my name from the cupboards too!!! It is strange though, there have been times when I am not even tempted in the least. Lately though, I find myself perusing the cupboards, ugh.
18 Sep 09 by member: madaboutmoose
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