jestes992's Journal, 01 May 2014

So I fell off the wagon a bit recently. As a sugar addict, once I have a taste, I can't stop. It truly is my heroin. It's been a very difficult week. I've been sick, I've got that "monthly time" craving and bloating, I've had no motivation or energy at all to even try to change. The food I've eaten has made me feel like crud, but I still crave more. Everything I eat makes me feel so disgusted and disappointed in myself to a point that I don't even enjoy it, yet I still eat it. After working so hard to get where I am and know that I still have so far to go, this has been a big setback for me mentally.

That is until this morning. My husband came in to give me a kiss goodbye on his way to work, the way he does every morning. He hugged me hard, grabbed me by the waist, looked into my eyes and told me how proud he was of me and all that I've accomplished. He told me he's noticed a big difference and told me that I was beautiful and always would be. It meant the world to me! As amazing as my husband is, he doesn't typically dole out that kind of sincere encouragement freely!

So needless to say my motivation is back! I'm ready to do this! Luckily my indiscretions haven't cost me much in weight gain, so that's good. My goal is to lose another 20 lbs before summer officially begins. I know I can do this!
199.0 lb Lost so far: 18.0 lb.    Still to go: 49.0 lb.    Diet followed poorly.

Diet Calendar Entry for 01 May 2014:
1898 kcal Fat: 124.32g | Prot: 123.92g | Carb: 75.50g.   Breakfast: Atkins Advantage Strawberry Shake, Eggland's Best Cage Free Brown Eggs, Keurig cinnabon k-cup. Lunch: Rotisserie Chicken (Skin Not Eaten), Kraft Big Slice Jalapeno White Cheddar Cheese, Boyajian Garlic Dipping Oil, Great Value Organic Cage Free Fresh Brown Eggs, Oscar Mayer Baked Cooked Ham, Oscar Mayer Deli Fresh Black Forest Ham, American Heritage Cheddar Shredded Cheese, Organic Girl Super Greens. Dinner: Johnsonville Chili Cheese Smoked Sausage. Snacks/Other: Murray Sugar Free Vanilla Wafers, Atkins Advantage Strawberry Shake, Monster Beverage Absolutely Zero, King's Choice Smoked Gouda Cheese, Tanimura & Antle Celery. more...
gaining 0.9 lb a week

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Comments 
It is normal to have some re-lapse- just log in everything and do not put so much value on relapses. I used to. A binge could lead me into depressing and off…way off..maybe for years. If you enter as you go, no matter WHAT you eat or hog long it lasts, you will knock it off..maybe gradually over two or three days. So what. Over a month, a 3 day off and back down will mean NOTHING. If I go off, I log it in and track it….the next day, yeah, I may still be in the "hollow leg" mode. I enter everything. Day three- I may have some after midnight eating that goes on that day rather than previous….and you know what? It never takes longer than that to get back on the joy train. Even on day two of the "hollow leg" day, I will eat far less than day 1. This is a marathon, not a sprint to the finish. You are building a solution for life, not just losing weight before bathing suit season. You are changing a pattern that you can have forever, achieve lifetime weight control forever….my goodness! I would be shocked if anyone could do this flawlessly dying the weight loss phase or on maintenance for eternity! When you fall off again, try it this way. Log and Track- do not be judgmental. Your entire self-worth is not attached to your diet or your body image! And guess what….people that think that way, well, they usually are slim! 
01 May 14 by member: MrsRatfire
Great Husband, glad to have you back. You Can and Will do this !! 
01 May 14 by member: SherrieC
Sounds like he is definitely a keeper. I am fairly new to Atkins so I don't know if everyone doing this diet is doing it the same way I am learning to. I'm doing the phases and I have just moved from phase 1 to phase 2 (on going weight loss)and several of the things that are stressed is journaling what foods that are eaten. When you journal you can take an honest look at your food choices for the day and see your success and where necessary make improvements. In phase 2 you introduce one carbohydrate food at a time, this helps to determine how you will react to this food ie do you gain wt., do you feel off, or not well, is it a craving trigger. If you are ok with this food then it is a keeper, if not you know to leave it alone and go on to the next. So far I have introduced back into my diet is potatoes, milk and yogurt. Today I am down another 1.5 lbs. My support and prayers are with you. Jane 
01 May 14 by member: alphabitch60
Thanks so much guys! I actually started documenting everything I ate just out of habit, even on my bad days. Then i started to just say screw it cuz didn't want to know. But I knew. And I felt it. I wasn't in denial. I just didn't want to see my failures in black and white. Luckily it only lasted few days, and I think I only missed documenting a couple of them. I do like keeping track because it shows what you may or may not have done differently to add or lose pounds. This site is so great. I have the app on my phone so there's no excuses not to track. I usually do it before I eat it just to see where it would put me for the day. I love this site and the people on it! Thanks so much for the support! And yes my husband is definitely a keeper!  
01 May 14 by member: jestes992

     
 

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