Big Bella's Journal, 19 August 2013

buy a kitchen scale to log more accurately. weight everything :) don't be demotivated. im also working my ass off but weight stands still. keep your head up. you can do it. who is on jour pic?  

That was me 20 years ago. I put it on to motivate myself to get back in shape but now i feel like i will never have that body ever again.  

HOLY SHITTTT! that's one HOT tummy!!WOW!! you can do this!! I know you can!!!! you've just inspired me with that pic! thank you.  

Thanks girlfriend 

WOW!!!!! I honestly believe that tummy will be yours once more. Just curious, how much exactly were you weighing then? 

58kg 

Incredible definition. Do you mind me asking how you got your abs looking so toned and tight?  

First off, that picture was taken ages ago when i lived in the gym. i spent about 3 hours in the gym 5 days per week. I naturally had a low percentage of body fat and was following a high protein and low carb diet that made cutting very easy. i trained abs twice a week, mostly using core strengthening and resistance training. Sadly, everything went for a ball of shit when i went on fertility treatment and i gained tons of weight - most of it fat. Over a period of years, with poor diet, very little exercise, depression and sedentary lifestyle, i managed to gain almost 20kg. I hate looking at pictures of myself when i had that body, because it makes me feel like shit. Worse still, i hate others seeing my old pictures because they say: OMG was that you...what happended? That makes me feel even more like shit. Posting this picture on my profile seems to have been a mistake too...I feel like i am talking about someone else and not who i am now ...overweight,struggling and close to giving up. I dont care if i dont look like i did when i was younger, i just dont want to hate the body I see in the mirror now.  

Please don't feel like s##t. So many of us have lost, gained, lost, gained, especially mothers. I applaud you for posting that pic and I can tell you right now, that for one you have motivated me so much (and others). I firmly believe that as you shed the weight, you will have a new appreciation of your body. I suspect that you look pretty good now anyway (and if you want to keep improving) You know what has worked for you in the past. Strongs. (((Hugz))) 

Thank you so much for that, im at an all time low and really appreciate the support, more than you could possibly know :)