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I have been MIA for a long time, and so you know what that means! I am completely ashamed of how long and how much I let myself go. I have been totally out of control. Eating any and everything for the past 2 months. And that is just something I can't let myself do without catostrophic results. I have been really down for some reason. And I have realized just how much of an addiction I have for food. I guess you could say it is my drug of choice. I don't drink, smoke, do any of those things, but now I can see that it is food I turn to for comfort. I could list a million excuses for why I relapse but I am not going to. I am going to take control of my body and my choices and I am going to tackle this battle with my weight for the last time. I have so many reasons to do this.
1. I want to be healthy and happy for my kids!
2. I don't want to be 70 and unable to get around like my grandmother, b/c she is overweight and never took care of her body. I want to be active, and vacationing, and doing great things with my grandchildren.
3. I want to age gracefully, 30 is just around the corner and I don't want to dread it, I want to embrace it!
4. I want to go out with friends and have fun like I used to, rather than making excuses to stay home b/c I am too embarrassed to go out b/c I am fat and not the size I was in high school, when all my friends still are! ugh!
5. Our best friends just bought a house with a pool, I want to be able to go and take my kids and have FUN! And not sit there with a t-shirt covering my body, while my kids beg me to come in and play.
6. I want to finally see my BFF I haven't seen since our freshman year in college, simply b/c I have avoided him b/c I was too embarrassed to let him see me this fat. 10 years of making excuses is completely ridiculous.
7. My husbands best friend is getting married in October, we will probably be in the wedding, and I want to enjoy it!
8. I want to stop hiding behind the camera, so that once my kids are grown, I don't look back and regret not being in any pics with my kids.
That is all I can think of for now. I will add more as I think of them, so that I can look back on this each day to remind me of the things that make this worth it.
I feel so great when I am eating healthy and working out. I have more confidence, I have more energy, I am happy, I enjoy my kids more, I want to get out and about rather than sitting inside these 4 walls all day, I sleep better, there are so many reasons!! Why do I let myself do this? I am ready for this change!
I also want to apology to all my Fatsecret buddies. You have all been there for me over the past 2 years. I am sorry I disappeared for so long. I couldn't do this without you and I am so grateful for each and every one of you. You are the best!!
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201.0 lb
Lost so far: 8.0 lb.
Still to go: 41.0 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.
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gaining 1.3 lb a week
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