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I'm so depressed I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm a doormat. I'm so tired of life and I don't want to go on feeling like this another day. I've had so much I've gone through the last 6 months from finding my neighbor hanging in her living room, to my mother in law dying from the floods in upstate new york from Hurricane Irene. Then to top it all off; I'm being bullied at work and I can't get any support from my Supervisor because the person bullying me is being treated with special favoritism. My Supervisor just two days ago completely humiliated me in front of my three of my peers; saying in a staff meeting that she felt that my coworker (the one bullying me) is more capable than I am at doing my job. The funny thing is that's not true. I have more four years Veterinarian training that she doesn't have and I've been there on the job not much longer than she has; but longer none the less... and not to mention that what she knows about "surgery clinic" I've taught her almost everything she knows; but whatever. I can imagine how nice those words from my Supervisor must have sounded for my enemy's ears. I'm so depressed right now; I don't know what to do.. I feel totally helpless. Yesterday, I wrote a note to read to my supervisor explaining how I felt. That went nowhere. She said that I'm not competitive enough and I told her I don't come to work to compete I come to work to work. The funny thing is my coworker is the most competitive person on the job; she used to go around saying that when she was playing softball her daddy used to tell her that she had to prove that she was better than everyone else. This attitude follows her on the job; and I don't feel I have anything to prove to anyone. I know that I do a good job. I took some days off work just to get away from this and all I do is find myself dwelling on it all day and even all night long. I can't sleep... I wake up in the middle of the night upset; I haven't slept well since I found my neighbor anyway; but now I'm pretty much getting 20 minutes here and 20 minutes there. I don't know how long I can go on like this before something gives. I've been through so much stuff in my life I'm actually shocked that THIS stuff is getting to me like it is.. I thought I was stronger but I'm learning I'm really not that strong. Please God give me strength to continue in my hours of darkness..
Diet Calendar Entries for 29 March 2012:
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1543 kcal
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Fat: 51.99g | Prot: 76.31g | Carb: 196.08g.
Lunch: Homemade sweetend iced tea, follow your heart, 1 cup shredded romaine lettuce . Dinner: carrot cake, Dream Dinners Mandarian chicken, ranch dressing, Golden Coral pizza, Golden Coral soft serve, Golden Coral BBQ. more...
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3731 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Housework - 4 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours and 15 minutes, Desk Work - 10 hours, Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 1 hour and 45 minutes. more...
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 Comments
:(
I'm so sorry to see everything you're going through.
I'm sure you've considered it - but is it possible for you to get a job elsewhere? Sounds like you're in a toxic environment, the sooner you can get out, the better.
To me it sounds like you need an escape - something you can go do that will help you completely relax and is totally selfish.
When my parents were getting divorced I went and watched the Colorado Avalanche practice (NHL team, and their practice rink was close to where I was living at the time) - I wasn't being productive, or helpful to anyone or even being particularly restful to myself - but it was what *I* wanted to do so I went and did it, alone. Other times I've gone and taken long strolls at the dog park - because watching puppies play is happy-making for me.
So maybe just start by finding one thing that helps lift your day, and whenever you feel like it - go do that?
You *are* strong and you absolutely can do this. I and we (the members of this community) are here for you - feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk.
29 Mar 12 by member: sjcoray
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My heart goes out to you over the workplace bullying. You do have some options, but they're not easy. You can find work elsewhere, or you can hire an attorney, document everything that happens, sue, and then find work elsewhere. I'll send you a personal message, too, and a buddy request. If you need emotional support, I'll try to be there for you.
06 Apr 12 by member: dorseybroich
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