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I know the 25 pound challenge just lasts two months, but I feel tired and cranky already. Who am I kidding? It's not the challenge. Work sucks lately. Did I mention I teach high school and final exams start at the end of next week? The students are ready to be done, I'm ready to be done... I'm just plain tired!! Of course, I work in the summer too, or at least I've applied for some things. The job I usually do fell through this year so I'm hanging in the balance, hoping I can find something to make enough to make it to the fall (I don't get paid in the summer and I have a very tight budget due to debt). So yes, not knowing if I can pay my rent this summer leads to stress. Not having a pay raise in three years and a furlough last year leads to stress. Do folks realize this stuff? Trying to deal with stress in ways other than food. Yesterday I had the biggest victory in a long time... At the faculty meeting they had chips and pepperonis and cheeses and (omg!) chocolate cake and sodas and even veggies and dips!! ...and what did I choose? NONE OF IT!! I didn't get anything during the whole meeting except half a cup of real Sprite at the end because it was 5pm and I was headachey because I didn't know the meeting would last that long. I stood there and stared at the table and drooled a bit and walked away. I don't think I've ever had such a fantastic victory where I was in control of my choices, and the food didn't control me! And today, another meeting, cookies and cokes and things... I chose a diet coke, no cookies! I was so proud... right now I'm hungry and moody and having a beer... but I avoided eating excess unwanted cookie calories. Not sure what I would have done today if chips were there. I'm really more of a chip person... but anyway. Just wanted to ramble on a bit. Did I mention that my boyfriend is a US Marine and he's overseas right now? So, in a way that's great because I'm challenging myself while he's gone and he'll come home to a whole new me... but in a way it's hard because when I have a tough day like today, I look for him in the refrigerator. Glad I can just come here and pour my heart out instead... ::sigh::
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