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Blah.... only three whole days of perfect eating with no late night binging and i get side tracked again.
Its been such a stressful time for me. Yesterday was a crazy day. My mom went in for her surgery. I had to take my brothers to get their hair cut and then get them some food. There was no time to cook between hair cuts, doctor's appointments, and getting in to see my mom before visiting hours were over. My brothers had Carl's JR and I ended up going to Baja fresh mexican grill. It was the closest, quickest, healthiest thing available at the moment, and I was starving. I was seriously getting nervous, shaky, cranky, and ready to cry. I always crash if i havent eaten for 5-6 hours. Unless i am asleep, you can forget going 8 whole hours without food. I get so grumpy!
So i had a veggie and chicken burrito- nixed the sour cream and cheese. They gave me tortilla chips and i couldnt resist. I had about ten and set the rest aside.
I didnt plan on eating the whole burrito, but i did. It wasnt a ridiculously huge one, like the ones you get from chipoltle's or something.
I dont know what it is, but when i eat something 'bad' it triggers cravings. I was craving chocolate last night, i had sugar free pudding snacks with whipped cream and peanut butter on them. If someone had stuck some M&M's or Oreos in front of me i would have had at 'em. Later on, anything and everything sounded good because i was hungry. I did eat a lot of those pudding things, but luckily there was no other junk food for me to ravish. I felt gross last night when I went to bed after eating a ton of crap and this morning my stomach was killing me.
It crossed my mind to go to starbucks or the store and get a chocolate muffin, since i had already messed up last night.
But i dont want to feel like shit today, again. And when i really thought about it, that wasnt a good reason, just an excuse.
Junk food doesnt sound good anymore. I had a kiwi strawberry smoothie for breakfast and it took the sweet cravings away. Thank god.
Smoothies actually seem to be working, as far as satisfying cravings and such. So does honey in my tea. Its only 60 calories, but it really fills me up at night so i dont binge. And i figure spending 60 calories on something like honey [which is surprisingly good for you, too] is better than expending 600-1000 on my stress-induced binging.
Also, drinking green tea before i eat my breakfast. I dont know why. Maybe its more of a psychological thing.
But anyways, I dont want to let a bad day turn into two bad days.
I really need to stay strong and fight temptation. Thats not something I'm great at when i seem to fall off the wagon. Need to stay focused. Eyes on the prize! a size 8 :]
Diet Calendar Entry for 04 February 2009:
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238 kcal
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Fat: 2.09g | Prot: 11.22g | Carb: 47.09g.
Breakfast: safeway oat meal, milk, light and fit , strawberries. more...
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