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I made a comment on someone's journal that I decided to share here so that my Buddies who support me here can better understand better why I'm so driven, so ambitious, why there are no "cheat" days, why I refuse to reward myself with food anymore, and why there are no more excuses:
I got a wake up call this summer. My husband said to me, "Honey, we need to talk." Well, right away, I started to panic. Wouldn't you???
He went on to say, "Look around: There are no really old fat people." I said, "So what?" He took my hands and looked me in the eyes and said, "I want to get old with you. Please do something about your weight."
I started crying.
He went on to say that he didn't care how I looked, that I was beautiful and sexy to him at any weight (he married me when I was heavy, so I knew that was true). His words touched me because he wants me to live, and he wants us to be together.
So I'm on the warpath now. And now you know my dirty little secret. Now you know why I won't quit, ever, until I get there.
I journal every day, not only here, but also in a book I keep in my purse, about how the day went, about people and things that piss me off. I let my feelings out in the book, so I no longer need to eat my feelings away. I use this website like crazy for support, to make friends, to help others, to get help from others, and to log my food, every single bite. I use the Jawbone UP to track my steps and calculate my output so I know how much to eat and therefore how much I should be losing at a slow, but steady pace.
I attend Overeaters Anonymous at least once a week because it's such a great support group. I've come to believe that this is a lifelong issue for me that isn't going away and that my thoughts about food are just not normal. I find comfort and support there and it really, really helps.
Pretty soon, I'll be able to add exercise to my routine and that will help, but for now, I'm shotgunning this thing, tackling it from every angle I can think of. There is nothing I'm not doing to support myself, including spilling my guts to strangers here in the hopes that some little gem may resonate with someone and help them get through a tough day, or even an hour of temptation.
Thank you to all my Buddies on here who have been and continue to be awesome. We are on this freaky journey together, and you know what? It's so much easier together! Thanks for listening, and here's to our collective success, not just in the short term, but forever.
Cheers,
Dominique
aka Mrs. Mole
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 Comments
That's just it. I don't have it on straight. I still can't see it like I did before. BUT hopefully the next few week will help with that. That's why I'm on full liquids only. I hope it will get me back there. Thanks so much for the offer and inspiration. That I CAN do this. I don't really think you want to deal with my emotional stuff. It will get you down and out. Don't want that to happen.
11 Feb 14 by member: ohiogirl63
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He loves you.. he wants to grow with you.. One day at the time.. I have 2 broken bones in my ankle and hurt my knee very bad.. but I sit and excersie with weights sitten down for now.. I am drinking Chia Seeds in the morning with blue berries and strawberries and chia seeds or whatever fruit we have at home. My husband can loose weight so quick and we do want to grow old togher we support eachother so much--- and READ ABOUT CHIA SEEDS IT MIGHT HELP.....
11 Feb 14 by member: Vero0127
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I have an amazing support system! I am very lucky! My hubby seems to be holding steady even eating lots and LOTS of ice cream! He makes me sick that he can eat what he wants and does not seem to affect him. He has been cross country skiing almost daily...even with windchills of -30 below. I am a whimp...I don't ski when it is that cold. Looking forward to warmer temps that are supposed to be coming. The next two weekends we will be traveling to watch our daughter play her last two home college basketball games in South Dakota. Hope the snow stays away so we have safe travels.
11 Feb 14 by member: kmunson
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Wow. Did you hit the nail on the head. So many people supporting and in the same place. I'm curious about the gastric bypass. If it's done, afterword do you have to watch your intake same as everyone else? I guess what I'm asking is, can you override the gastric bypass by diet after you'd lost the weight? I imagine you can. I think it's a real help and for a lot of people, it's a good choice, but the process even after the bypass should include learning about diet yes? I'm serious here. I hope nobody thinks I'm being a smarta$$.
Dominique. I know from some of the exchanges we've had how determined you are. It's so great to see. The funny thing is, when we get to that level of determination it doesn't matter any more how fast it comes off because we know we're working on it and it's going to happen without a doubt. Oh. And I know we're thousands of miles away but you're my diet buddy and when your weight comes off you know you and I will be exercise support buddies, right? We all want you around so we can pick your brain and give you the gears.
Oh, and it's no wonder your hubby wants you around. When I heard you interviewing that fellow a week ago, I was impressed. You're a nutjob. I mean, body function humour? Really? :D
11 Feb 14 by member: northernmusician
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Hey N.M , Yes sadly you can over ride the by pass. A friend of mine had the surgery
and with in 2 years she was heaver than when she started :( Before she stretched her stomach back out, she had lost a lot of weight and if you remember the Ice skating team of Torval & Dean. She could have passed for Torval's twin. she was beautiful.
11 Feb 14 by member: Marlene1952
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Awwww, Such a sweet declaration of love. I imagine that you love him just as much. I am so excited that you are doing everything you can to have a long and happy life together. J
11 Feb 14 by member: JovialJ
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Thanks, Marlene. I seem to remember a woman I knew had it and lost a lot of weight but is now trying to cut it again. I felt awkward about asking her. Oddly, I've offered to help her with her diet. She has yet to take me up on it.
11 Feb 14 by member: northernmusician
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Sorry. Cut as in lose the weight. :( I'm been on bodybuilding sites too long. Picking up the vernacular. I'm not sure how I feel about heading toward a 'bulk' after losing just over 60 pounds. It's as scary a word as 'diet'. I prefer 'eating properly'.
11 Feb 14 by member: northernmusician
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This is a really beautiful post! You are blessed to have someone that loves you enough to say that to you...sooo difficult to say and hard to hear as well.
I love that you are brave enough to share your soul with strangers...thank you for that and YOU GO GIRL!!!!!
11 Feb 14 by member: runrgrrll
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So sweet! Your husband really really loves you! =)
11 Feb 14 by member: ZivaDavid11
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It has always bothered me that the medical community likes to say "Died of a stroke, died of heart disease, died of a heart attack, died from complications of diabetes (I know it's not always diet caused)." Why don't they say it like it is. 20% of Americans die from the complications of obesity.
11 Feb 14 by member: northernmusician
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I'm glad you said that, NM. You're right that the root cause it ultimately obesity. But it's still unpopular to say that the Emperor has no clothes, or is nekkid, as you like to say. It has such a stigma. Overeating is a disease, just like alcoholism. It's an addiction, like any other. BTW, I can't WAIT to become your workout buddy. It might take another year, but so what? I'll still be on this site, encouraging others and minding my calories, and that's a promise!
11 Feb 14 by member: mrsmole
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It is a wonderfully,bitter-sweet confession! Even though your strong, confident words & attitude almost give me a change of heart *I* am really glad your husband wouldn't let you get the surgery.I think,even though you indicate otherwise,that having to lose weight "naturally" through exercise & diet we learn the processes,techniques,that we need to make habits in order to make our losses lasting. Like CYD69 said "its hard to change eating & get motivated to exercise."As you already know & admit,it isn't just a physical fix we want to correct,its a emotional & mental adjustment we need. I'm pleased you shared your story & that I was here to read it. Its quite inspiring :D
11 Feb 14 by member: myawethinTICself
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Thanks, Mrsmole. It is inspiring to read your journal. Thanks to everyone for sharing. A lot to think about and encouraging for me.
12 Feb 14 by member: Deb_N
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That was so touching! Thank you for sharing.
12 Feb 14 by member: gilliansings
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You are an awesome buddy Dominique! =) And yes, even up to the point we reach our target weights, the days, weeks, months and years after that will still be full of the same challenges which can make or break us. This is a lifelong journey. And will be here as long as I can to support anyone who needs it and to keep my motivation going as well. =)
12 Feb 14 by member: ZivaDavid11
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Thanks so much for your comments on my journal, and sharing so openly here. You are so right that the love & support here make this journey so much more doable & fun! Your DH sounds like a real gem, and you have come so far & are working so hard… you're a true inspiration!
12 Feb 14 by member: Ruhu
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You have a caring husband.
12 Feb 14 by member: madanjen
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MyawethinTICself, thank you for your remarks. You are correct. Even though I was so pissed at him for not allowing me to do the surgery when I wanted it, who is to say I would have lived through it? Or that I would have lost the weight? Or that I wouldn't have gained it back? This way, as hard as it is some days, it's working and it's building character. This is the final thing I will ever do for myself that's awesome, and it needs to be done. I'm doing it, with your help and everyone who chimed in here. I love this site and the people on it.
14 Feb 14 by member: mrsmole
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