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O.K., so here goes. I HATE BEING FAT!!! I know I'm working on it, but it's SO SLOWWWWWWWWW. I'm still so huge. I'm in this for the long haul. It will take me at least 2 more years to get to my true goal. I should hit 125 lbs in Dec. 2012, if I live that long. I know I will enjoy hitting goals and being lighter along the way, but it's SO SLOWWWWWWWWW. I try to be an optimist and it's hard to journal optimistically when you feel this way. I just hope the numbers from the Dr. show that the hard work and all the study I've been doing is showing in more than just weight loss. Hopefully that will help with incentive. I won't quit. I really am feeling so much better and my clothing sizes are getting smaller. Everything from housework to bathing is getting easier. I just wish I could wiggle my nose and magic away the pounds.
Diet Calendar Entries for 30 December 2010:
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1276 kcal
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Fat: 54.25g | Prot: 62.62g | Carb: 166.37g.
Breakfast: To the Dr. for complete bloodwork, Diet Cranberry Juice, Truvia, Smart Balance, Scrambled Egg, Fat Free Skim Milk, Quaker Oats/Old Fashioned, Coffee, Fasting Glucose 129. Lunch: Apple, Corn Pudding. Dinner: Scrambled Eggs, Clementines. Snacks/Other: Dried Pitted Plums, Bittersweet Baking Chocolate. more...
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3577 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Sitting - 7 hours, Housework - 1 hour, Desk Work - 6 hours, Walking (slow) - 2/mph - 30 minutes, Driving - 1 hour and 30 minutes, Sleeping - 1 hour, Resting - 7 hours. more...
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 Comments
Hello my friend, vent away! Yup, it sucks. Being fat utterly sucks. But you have done so amazingly. You have So many more obstacles than a lot of us, between health and age and money... You deserve to be really proud of your accomplishments. Coming up on the end of 2 years working on this myself, i remember thinking the same thing. Omg, this is going to take FOREVER! Well, here we are. Looking back it seems much shorter. I think the best thing to do is try to focus as much on today as possible. After all, there is no living in tomorrow or yesterday, we only ever have today. But it's okay to be frustrated and vent here. Everybody will come tell you we understand :). We've all been there. Hope you get good health news from the doc!
30 Dec 10 by member: k8yk
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The doctors will fall all over themselves when they see your success. They love it when their patients actually follow through, actually make good choices, and lose weight! I agree with k8yk, the time goes by slowly while you're going throug it, but when it's passed, it's hard to believe that it really was that long. I feel like I've been on a diet for two weeks...but it's been four months! Hang in there and LOVE every little inch of progress you make! Every pound lost is an easier stair climb, every inch is a sexier step to a new you. Happy New Year!
30 Dec 10 by member: jenalena
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Thanks, both of you. I'm just a little down today. The scale showed a 20 lb. loss since the last time I was in and my blood pressure was 111/60 and I didn't get even one comment. It just seemed a little odd that there was so little reaction. Perhaps, if the bloodwork is really good, I'll get more of a reaction. I guess I was just a little disappointed, since no-one (including family and friends) except my friends on here seem to be rejoicing with me over my slow but steady trek down. I really do love you guys!!!
30 Dec 10 by member: Johanne
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Just remember, you're doing this for you, first and foremost! When I went to the doctor recently she had absolutely nothing to say about my weight or blood pressure. And it was wonderful. I've been wanting a doctor to listen to me and not just focus on my weight for my whole life. No reaction is good reaction in my book!
30 Dec 10 by member: k8yk
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LOL! Thanks Kate. I hadn't looked at it from THAT perspective. This is for me and I just have to keep that fact in focus and enjoy the small victories along the way. It's just been one of those days. I think it's probably the after Christmas, let down blues as much as anything else. Thanks for the new view. :-)
30 Dec 10 by member: Johanne
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Girl who are you tellin...I am totally feeling you today. Even with the support I have here & elsewhere, I look at my gut & the number representing my weight & think I still have SO far to go...but I have to remind myself, just like I tell other people having a moment like we are, that we can't dwell on what's left. Instead we should focus on the here & now, & compare it to the day we started these new lives of ours, not our goal & not other people. Hugs hon!!
30 Dec 10 by member: kstubblefield
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Thanks Kay. You are all right. I'm cheering up already. I really have come a long way since the summer, just as you have, and I'm NOT just starting out. The best thing is, I love the way I'm eating now, so it's not a chore. I guess I'm just all hyped up about what my numbers will show and hope they are good. I have to wait until next Wed. or later to find out. You are all the best! This site and all of my new buddies here are the only reason I am having success. I'm so very thankful and I WILL try to be patient. Hugs back!!!
30 Dec 10 by member: Johanne
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Oh honey - I hate being fat too. And it is so so slow. Because you are doing it right. You've done so well and inspire me (and others I'm sure) to keep going. But I know these days, the ones where it just seems like your goals are so far away. But just keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will get there.
30 Dec 10 by member: Z'sMama
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Johanne, thanks for stopping by my journal today. Never apologize for moaning - we all do it, that's what this site is for - support. You have every right to feel like crap some days but hope today is better. We have so much to be grateful for and I know you are grateful for lots of things too. We will get there, we will get to goal. I know how you feel in your body, I just left 230 lb a short time ago. Its a little better, I won't lie, its not a lot better, but we have a ways to go yet, you and I, and 2011 will be the year we get there! Have a wonderful evening, whether in company or by yourself. Hope 2011 is fabulous for all of us.
31 Dec 10 by member: sarahsmum
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A Very Happy New Year to you Johanne!!!
31 Dec 10 by member: information
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Thank you info. The same to you and all of my buds, a Happy New Year and thank you so much for being here for me. I can't tell you how much you have all come to mean to me.
31 Dec 10 by member: Johanne
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