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A brief idea of the weeks that were.
26th and 27th November - College festival that we participated in and WON. Apart from the sheer WORK required in general, I specifically took part in the Theatre event, which basically means we put on a play. For an entire month prior to that, I'd essentially taken to living in college. There was just so much work to be done - not just for this fest (that we were attending) but for our own festival which we were hosting the weekend after this one. Also, the play practices ran late, LATE into the night. In fact, I spent the entire night of 26 November at someone's house, along with the rest of the cast and went straight on to Day 2 of the festival directly.
Another week of insanity and 3rd, 4th and 5th December was our own festival. I was initially going to stay only for Day 1 because tickets had been booked for my family to fly to another city for my cousin's wedding but on the 2nd, we changed them last-minute so I could stay back those 2 additional days while my parents went ahead. Thank goodness for that, all 3 days were incredible. The fest was a success and the general madness and celebration that went with it was just so fun. I reached home at about 3 am on the morning of 6th December (with a friend spending the night), packed somehow (after WEEKS of no sleep, concentrating on anything was a task), locked up the house and left for the airport at 6:30 am.
AND THEN from 6th December to 12 December was just a whirlwind of my cousin's wedding. It was this mega affair, with people flying down from all over the world. Lots of events and more sleep deprivation.
Finally got back home on the morning of Monday, 13th December, slept for a day, attended college (after a 6 day absence) from the next day onwards and have finally begun feeling human again.
Now here's the food aspect.
From the time I started spending entire days in college, my regular mealtimes have gone for a toss. I've essentially been eating the bare minimum, ie whatever I manage to grab before running out the door each morning. On some days (most) that means just 2 boiled eggs and then dinner or a couple of cucumbers and then dinner. The dinners were generally heavier than is normal for me but not by much. When I've reeally needed to put something in my mouth (like when everyone else is catching a snack from the college cafeteria) I'd drink a Diet Coke. I've kept the Diet Cokes to one a day - and not every day. I know it's not the healthiest but my policy of "not eating is better than eating off-plan" has kept me from losing it completely and bingeing (as is SO easy for me to do when I'm spending entire days out, with easy access to chips and the rest of it). Also, I lost weight at a rather rapid pace. My 'success' on weeks 2 and 3 of Denise's 8 Week Challenge is a testament to that, more than anything else. This WOE got me through both college fests and everything before them. I was SO STRICT. I'd have nuts/kebabs wherever I'd find nothing else but mostly, I'd just starve. And I never really feel hungry or weak, so it was easy to just forget about when I'd last eaten. I ignored all alcohol at the various 'after parties' and basically managed somehow to tell myself I'm still on plan.
That is, until I reached the airport that morning on 6th December. I think I'd eaten nothing but 2 eggs for breakfast and peanuts for dinner the day before and suddenly all the adrenaline I'd been running on came crashing down. I knew I had to put something in my mouth, needed my energy for travelling alone, etc. And I also knew that it would be nearly impossible to stay on plan in that week ahead. All the wedding food and socialising and the rest of it.
On the other hand, I had got a few outfits made for 4 of the main occasions - and they were all form-fitting (couldn't help celebrating the 13 kgs I'd lost so far) so I had enough of a motivation to stay on track, or I'd end up looking hideous.
I'd read somewhere on the Atkins Forums that simply maintaining while on a trip is enough of a success and so I was hoping to not eat more than necessary. But I knew I was going off plan. And after 48 days of ZERO CHEATING, that sort of put me into binge mode. So I went straight up to the KFC counter at the airport and had one burger. No fries or anything else, just a burger. But that was sort of enough. I had a small hot chocolate later and then the entire breakfast on the flight (small croissant, omelette, breaded cutlet, coffee with creamer and sugar). Sigh. And that essentially how my entire trip went. I tried on most days to just have a tiny amount of everything. I didn't really pig out, but I did have quite a few things here and there that weren't strictly necessary. And most of it off-plan. As expected, I was feeling bloated, awful taste in my mouth, I was actually a little sick the first day. It wasn't too bad, though. Apart from the last couple of days, I avoided rice and wheat entirely, drank only black coffee with artificial sweeteners/Diet Coke. My aunt and cousins did notice, especially because my dad was eating the same way (he did a MUCH better job than me this trip). In fact, I think he lost a lot of weight on it. He doesn't weigh regularly but he did yesterday and it's 16 kgs down from his starting weight! And he started a week after I did.
Anyhow, I got through that week and am willing to put it behind me. I'd forgotten how AWFUL it is to be off-plan. The constant craving, the constant need to put something in my mouth, the total dependency of my mood on food. In my opinion, I also look terribly bloated and heavy in my pictures on certain days. I think I'm also PMS-ing because my TOM is very late. It's all this swinging around of my weight that's doing it. My weight the day I got back (Monday, 13th December) was 68 kgs. I gained 3 kgs! Sigh. But I've been properly on plan since Tuesday 14th December and am back down to 66 kgs as of this morning.
This month (what's left of it) is going to involve lots of socialising and staying out and eating out so it's important for me to be very careful because I do want to look good. My goal for right now remains 60 kgs but I know for sure that that is not my final goal. At 65 kgs, when people look at me, I am still a 'fat girl'. Or at least plump. I need to look like a 'normal girl'. Maybe that'll be at 60 kgs. And for once in my life, I want to try being a 'thin girl'. Just out of curiosity - to see what I look like thin. At this stage, I know I need to start exercising. It'll hopefully speed up the weight loss and also get me some tone in my legs, etc. I'm really really hoping to hit 60 kgs by New Years.. I still haven't gone shopping for new clothes, so I have no dresses etc to wear for the parties that will be bound to come up now. I keep putting off shopping because: 1. I'm still 'shopping in my own closet', wearing clothes I couldn't fit into before, and 2. I keep telling myself it's a waste because I won't be this size in a month (I hope!). But I need some outfits to tide over this holiday season. Because the fact remains that I have lost 13 kgs from my all-time high and I need clothes that will show that off. I met a couple of friends yesterday, who haven't seen me since August/September and they didn't really say anything about my weight. Ah well, it doesn't really affect me (I'm too excited about the changes I see/feel) but it'll be interesting to see at what weight the difference will show through.
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