Foodi4life's Journal, 15 February 2018

I used to meal prep my dinner for me and my young children n cook for my husband and children every night (children eat whatever they want...mine or his) 

So my food was low calorie n his whatever, Now I can have 1/4 or 2/3 or starches or high calorie dense food. 

To be honest my husband is starting to like or get used to my healthier options so I’m not cooking everyday as much 

I cooked chicken and pasta the other night, I made him the pasta and made myself spaghetti squash. Last night I made him rice but I had a sweet potato. Once u get used to it it’s not so bad. 

I try to make us the same healthy meal & just add a carb to his plate only. It is a little more work but we are worth it. 

It becomes a (good) habit to not-eat the white stuff ( bread, mac., white potato, etc...) You can still have dinner together, as long as it isn't solely casseroles with all of the carbs. You can do it! You are worth it! You will reap the rewards, and your husband will cheer you on, instead of being your excuse for not reaching your goals...? 

You can make healthier substitutions. I struggled with the same issues in the past. For instance, instead of rice, eat cauliflower rice, use sweet potatoes and roast butternut squash with interesting spice blends, try lean ground turkey, you can make burgers, and load up on salads with lemon, mustard, and EEVOO dressing (sparingly).  

We realized that healthier eating was going to benefit us in the long run. So we plan all of our meals together - everything that goes on my plate is measured and the numbers added up. My wife serves the portion size that is right for her - same foods - plus cooking together gives us time together and we can discuss future meal and recipe ideas while we cook. we are a team and we have a long term goal to be together for as long as we can and be able to do the things we want to do. I wish you all the best on your journey.  

Honestly, you've got to try harder. Plan YOUR meals, weigh the food, eat YOUR food and let him have his ALONE if that's what it takes. DECIDE if you really want to lose the weight. Yes, it is hard. But it is worth it.  

In other words, eat stuff that your husband would like. Make wholesome, unprocessed food and the weight will melt off. After years of yo-yo dieting and restricting, I switched to the Whole30 diet and lost over 40 lbs. It's the sugar and the unprocessed crap that make us sluggish and do damage to our bodies. Reach out to me if you have questions. Be imperfectly perfect. Be kind to yourself. And, keep the past in the past.  

Depending on the total calories of dinner, you could consider fasting and just having the one meal? 

You know what you want, so you do have to take care of you - both in company with him and taking care of your health so you don't die too early and leave him alone. One of my friends has a technique where she portions out the food onto each plate and serves directly from the stove so there is no food on the table. Another puts leftovers away first so the food is clean and freshest for leftovers, and all that is left on the table is the allowed calories per person. Maybe you could only cook what you both need for protein and starch and then have salad and bread if he is still hungry. I usually cook 4 servings at a time because that is what the recipes are for, and then divide up for lunches and meals to freeze, and then take 1 serving. Yesterday I read that someone had gotten small plates to use all the time, and that is what I do, too, I use the salad plate for my dinner so it is full when I load up. Also been trying to have a salad available at dinner, and half the plate is salad with no dressing or very light dressing. A good friend of mine passed away last summer at 92 and that was his technique for salads - lemon juice, salt, and no real oil in the dressing. I am assuming your hubby is bigger than you - you have to keep in mind that you get one roll for each of the two that he eats. Really, you need to also keep in mind that the healthier you are, the longer you will have to spend with him in the first place - not to be morbid, but often we are hurting ourselves by ignoring what is the best way to care for our future selves. That is my motto this year: my future self needs me to do what my present self doesn't want me to do. 

One more thing: if you haven't done so, get your thyroid checked. Hypothyroidism can cause weight gain and cravings. Get it checked. 

Substitutions! look on the internet and get creative. 

I use smaller plates at dinner and don’t get seconds. Eat slower and try to sip water during dinner. Portion control is key!! Also I do intermittent fasting, it gets easier. Start with pushing your breakfast further and further back and/or eating dinner earlier. Increase your water intake and try to eat less calorie dense snacks or foods during the day to allow a larger dinner. I use substitutes or just don’t add things to my plate, I use the pasta sauce and meat over miracle noodles or on salad instead of having the GF carb noodles. No bread, rice, potato, etc. 

16:8 fasting - Make an 8 hour eating window and have your dinner be your bigger meal. You still can't go "wild" with your dinner but at least you can eat together. Just cook whole foods meals you both can eat! Maybe throw in an extra starch for him if that's what he likes but make the core meal something for both of you. Good luck! I am doing the same thing - I am going to see my Dad in Florida and my typical eating window is 8 to 4 pm but since I want to have dinner with him I am switching it from 12 to 8. I will eat lunch with him and dinner with him. 

Hi Foodie!!! I feel the same way - I have no problem with a sensible, low calorie breakfast (protein rich to keep me full) and a calorie sensible lunch, but as soon as it comes to dinner time -- forgeddabout it!! (: I do not think skipping meals is the answer, because I tend to overeat when I'm starving... I do like the idea of a smaller plate though! Great tip Mamamc7!  

@kelly I have also used a kid try with dividers. I put the meat and veggies in the bigger sections and the item with the most carbs in the smaller section and always eat my protein first. 

Thank you all so very much for your wisdom and encouragement! I have read each comment and am so thankful for this online community of compassion persons 😊 I really like the idea of cooking better for the both of us and portioning leftovers ahead of time. I need to invest in a food scale! 😭 Love for all my fellow foodi friends 😘