ObeseToBeast123's Journal, 06 November 2022

OMG, I've been so worried! Did you see me asking for you?  

I've been completely checked out from the social portion of the site but I did go back and read through all the supportive comments from everyone and decided I should come back maybe in a limited capacity idk yet I'm still feeling very defeated and concerned about my path going forward and if I can even mentally fully commit myself to it but I'm trying. Thank you for your support sorry if I worried anyone there are a lot of great people on here with a few turds mixed in but the great ones convinced me to come back.  

Welcome back 🤗💜 

OTB, read my comments again. I have been there! surprised, shocked even, and then feeling totally defeated. I will talk to you about how I let some test tell me I wasn't good enough to compete, and how I let hopes and dreams go.. How much I regret not believing in how good I felt and trusting myself. PM me okay? Hugs to your wife and children :-) 

Hang in there, Otb. Think of all the positives from this journey: getting the family hooked on healthy foods and exercise, the Mudders - past and upcoming, improving your cycling adventures, and so much more. I wasn't kidding when I suggested that you head to the doctor's for a physical, in case there's something physical contributing to your mood, like a vitamin deficiency or something residually left over from your obese days. 

Welcome back otb!! No reason to feel defeated at all. Keep lifting and make a few tweaks and you‘ll be fine. Your new startpoint is good as you can add some cals back. Getting to your "Best Self“ goal is not a race. Best of luck and enjoy the journey💪💪 

ikarüs thanks😃  

JustBananas I scheduled one that night ... first available isn't for another 2 weeks I think but it's scheduled. There records only went back 6 years and they didn't have Me as having one during that time frame yikes 😬  

sk.17 thanks 😊 I'm pushing harder than ever with the lifting and added more calories back just don't know how far I will allow myself to take it. I've been doing alot of reading about bulking and how difficult is mentally for formerly obese people to do it mentally but I'm trying we will see how far my mind will let me go I already look bloated and I'll I gained was 5 lbs of water so far ughh I'm trying 😔  

S you need something, do not hesitate, little by little, a lot of encouragement.👍🤗 

yago-Santiago thank you appreciate all your support  

Glad you are back! 

I don't know what happened, but you are right about all the good people here who care for your well-being. Stay with the winners and those who encourage you. 

HCB thanks. It's in a post from last week I was going to take it down but decided to just leave it. But in short I was driving myself into the ground pushing for what ended up being an unattainable goal but anyway I'm trying to move past it and move onto the next chapter 😃  

Have a wonderful Sunday night Otb!👍 

Oh I am so glad it was not turds on here harassing you...and yes, we always are so hard on ourselves. It is important to adopt a sense of self that replicates how others see us! 

Shrewdness thanks hope you have a good Monday 😃  

D_not_Cupcake hahaha 😆 glad I found my way back  

HCB thanks I have thick skin but physically now and mentally so nothing anyone says on here will ever hit me too hard but like you said we are our own biggest critics and I can be Increadibly hard on myself.