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Water weight! I’m focused on hydration tonight. Fasting since dinner, and it’s not easy. But it’s pretty cool to start off the week with having had a successful weekend! I’ve got a hearty salad packed for lunch tomorrow, and then hubby has been working on homemade split pea and smoked ham soup ... I’m thinking of indulging in ham and Swiss sandwiches... with mustard... but I don’t have cheese, or mustard... just confirmed with my mom, she has the goods and will deliver tomorrow..
Thanksgiving dinner is a semi formal event in my family, and one of a few yearly occasions I wear a dress. It’s really nice to have a new shape to show off to my husband. I saw a friend that I have not seen in 2 years and she gasped and said I am half the size I was. That feels so good. I’m trying to remember my eating and drinking habits from then... it was before I quit smoking.. and I enjoyed drinking beer daily.. also made my own Stromboli’s, meatloaf, meatballs, homemade cakes. I basically was eating the exact opposite of my WOE today. I was 205 pounds, and I had to avoid mirrors, store window reflections, photos. If I avoided the mirror and pictures, I was quite happy with myself. My husband complimented me endlessly, his love for me blind to any imperfections. I wore my hair long, past my waist, and long maxi dresses and skirts. I was a massage therapist, specializing in neuromuscular pain treatment. I also worked in nursing, and both careers did not lend to the fact I carried extra weight but it is our culture and certainly it is my specific area. Last year I got out of healthcare entirely. I simultaneously have focused on my own body. My weight. My pain. My skin. My sleep. My hydration. Everything I had shoved aside for half a decade, raising my family. I bought workout clothes and I actually worked out in them. I bought revealing clothing in small sizes and I worked until they fit. It hasn’t quite been a year since I began my body reclamation, but it’s not over yet either. By Christmas I could be 145, and that’s a fasting dry weight, taken after a full nights sleep. I’m at 159 now and I know I can do it. But am I ready. There’s an emotional aspect to weight loss and weight gain that has been the biggest factor in my success and my setbacks. Slowly over the past year, I have made some separation from life’s struggles and food. But then I had a bad couple weeks, lots of stress, marital issues and children bringing pain. Overeating ensued. I used food as a crutch for about 10 days, and knew the entire time it was wrong. I lost my way for a bit. I stopped weighing in. When I came out on the other side of this thing, I had gained a few pounds, mostly water weight, and because I continued to do my heavy labor work each day, my 3500 calorie days weren’t so bad after all. Now I’m back to cutting, and my body is going to be in shred mode from here til Christmas. My goal is 145 by Christmas, but I will see if that’s too low. My current BMI at 160 is 23, so I have plenty of wiggle room.
My advice to everyone who struggles with food addiction is to vow never to abuse laxatives, exercise, or purge again, no matter what the amount of calories you binge on. Because I’m living proof that your body will adjust, and it’s much more likely to forgive you and be ABLE TO USE those extra calories when you’re not beating the shit out of it by over exercising or throwing up. Years ago I was under 130, and I was starving myself terribly, and I’d binge eat and weigh myself and I’d see the scale jump up 10, 15 pounds in ONE DAY. It wasn’t TRUE weight gain, but it was certainly traumatic. So, my late night weigh in doesn’t count really. And I’m not sure if tomorrow morning it will be 159 as I would like to see. But, either way I am back on track, this is a life long journey, and slow and steady wins the race.
Good night 🌙💤😴😘
Diet Calendar Entry for 18 November 2018:
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1117 kcal
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Fat: 31.56g | Prot: 38.33g | Carb: 114.28g.
Breakfast: 1% Fat Milk. Lunch: Goose Island IPA Beer, 1% Fat Milk. Dinner: Green Olives, Mixed Salad Greens, Trader Joe's Raw Pepitas, Kraft Natural Shredded 2% Milk Reduced Fat Mozzarella Cheese, Great Value Mediterranean Style Quinoa. more...
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