Alnona's Journal, 20 May 2019

I went completely off the rails today. I would usually blame it on the pain (diverticulitis) or my hurt feelings(The Hubby), but I'm not doing that anymore. I need to own my short comings and get back on track. .no excuses. I know I have to take it easy but not stop. My Hubby acknowledged I haven't been myself and asked if it was because I haven't been to the gym, I said yes it was. I finally found something that works for me, physically and mentally and I allowed my Hubby to guilt me out of going. It stops tonight. I was going to come on tonight to let everyone know I wouldn't be on for awhile, but the hell with that. I refuse to give up my journey for anyone or anything. Thank you all for being here for me. I'm back on the healthy train and I intend on staying here a long time. Love to you all🙋
191.3 lb Lost so far: 38.7 lb.    Still to go: 6.3 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.

Diet Calendar Entry for 20 May 2019:
1246 kcal Fat: 38.19g | Prot: 26.61g | Carb: 208.67g.   Breakfast: Boost Boost High Protein, Coffee. Lunch: Kirkland Signature Salted Caramels with Sea Salt, Adirondack Lemon Spring Water, Splenda No Calorie Sweetener Packets, Tea (Brewed). Dinner: Great Value Skim Milk, Post Nilla Cereal Banana Pudding, Ragu Creamy Basil Alfredo Sauce, Kroger Bowties. Snacks/Other: Splenda No Calorie Sweetener Packets, Tea (Brewed), Kirkland Signature Salted Caramels with Sea Salt, Utz Extra Dark Specials Pretzels. more...
gaining 4.9 lb a week

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Comments 
I believe that sometimes in a weird way significant others try to sabotage because they are lacking confidence in themselves. If you’re not changing you’re staying with them. Staying with them in this comfortable bubble where there’s not even a snowballs chance in hell you will leave them. I can’t relate to this because even though I’m heavy and have been at times I know my worth (which has taken me YEARS to gain traction on). But the thing for most people is they don’t even know they’re doing it. I’m sure he loves you so much—maybe he has difficulty talking about it or doesn’t even realize he is doing this to you.  
22 May 19 by member: g_ortegam
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