clt's Journal, 18 July 2007

Well I made it thru last night. I had two celery sticks and stuck to my water. My husband was upset at the fact that when I came home all I wanted to do was go to sleep. He also discovered the new scale this morning. He asked which one was right. I was shocked he seemed concerned. The scales are about 4 to 5lb difference. He then caught me going back and forth from scale to scale. He asked if it bothered me and of course I had to say, yea! I know it doesn't matter but I have really used the scale to base what I will allow myself to eat. I am really trying to stay focused on getting a few pounds under 120. So I can stop obsessing. I knew people really judge others by their appearance but I didn't realize to what extent it goes sometimes. I was out at the pool Saturday w/ my brother and his family along with some friends of theirs. My sis-n-law is a RN their friend happens to be a paramedic. They were literally looking at individuals and discussing how hard it would be to do cpr and other things on them due to their size. I'm sure they are not the only two people in the medical field that have these discussions. It was just an eye opener for me. We all have only one physical body. We should respect it and take care of it. Not only are some of the things that in the past we have chosen to eat killing us but it can also prevent us from getting the medical attention we might so desperately need one day. Truthfully I am not only thinking of myself but my two boys. We often think they are young they will run it off. That is just a lie we tell ourselves to make us feel better about feeding them McD's every week. Kids don't run these days. They barely leave the couch. Unless it is to get up for a snack or to change the video game. My goal for the year is to not only have a healthier me but a healthier family.