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Self-love is vital for health
When asked about what I would pick as the number one change that has made the biggest impact on my journey I usually cite motivation. However it doesn't matter how good your motivations are; you're going to seriously struggle if you have a poor relationship with yourself.
This is where I give you guys the full disclosure. I have suffered from mental health problems over a significant period of my life, and this includes some pretty severe episodes of depression. I don't normally like to talk about this stuff online, but the reason I feel it's important is because I think it's another piece of the weight jigsaw. Also I should add that I now have my conditions very much under control - they don't control me and they most certainly don't define me.
However, previously I hated myself. Deeply hated myself. I used to say that if I could leave myself, I would...obviously not an option. I would have given anything to be someone else just so I didn't have to be around me anymore. Of course the worse I felt, the less able I was to control anything in my life, including my weight. That amount of hatred directed towards yourself might be pretty extreme, but an unhappiness with the self is sadly a common occurrence these days.
This is what makes me so angry about attitudes towards weight. The media's constant obsession with the "obesity epidemic", doctors not treating patients properly because they can't see past a person's weight, and the attitudes of the general public towards people who are overweight amounts to, in my opinion, discrimination and a despicable hate culture. Even worse, it's an accepted and possibly even encouraged discrimination. Society today makes people hate themselves because they don't fit the ideal.
News Flash: body dissatisfaction does not motivate healthy behaviours.
In fact, all this fuss made about how people absolutely have to fit into the social ideal of a perfect body is quite possibly having the opposite effect than the one intended. It makes people feel bad about themselves, and this can lead to an unhealthy relationship with food and ultimately to weight problems. I've never understood why excessive weight due to overeating isn't classed as an actual eating disorder, as it's the same self-loathing that fuels both emotional over-eating and conditions like anorexia and bulimia. The current culture of fat phobia and ill-informed efforts to "manage weight" are part of the problem. Frequent dieting is actually likely to result in you weighing more, not less.
Unfortunately, the obsession with weight in Western culture is not about concern for health. It is about undue preoccupation with achieving the "right" appearance, and a willingness to risk health and a balanced life in an effort to accomplish that look. This is not what we should be aiming to achieve. We should be encouraging health of body and mind, regardless of whether that makes us size 6 or size 14 (or potentially larger? Skinny does not automatically equal healthy, after all).
I would argue that, to achieve optimal health, we need to learn to love ourselves. It is only by loving our body that we can develop a strong desire to change habits and seek out new ways to enhance our health and ultimately our enjoyment of life.
Homework!
It is possible to learn to love yourself, despite what society tells us. Every single one of you has something worth loving.
I would urge each and every one of you to pick some things you love about yourself. Even if you're at the start of your journey, there is no reason why you can find the beauty in yourself. These should be both physical attributes and personality traits. Write them down, share them, keep them private, whatever makes you happy. Just make sure you do it!
For example, when I was 277lbs this is what I found I loved about myself:
1. My long hair, which is soft and shiny and in good condition
2. My overall hourglass shape, despite my weight
3. My wrists, which have always been small (at 6 inches) even when at my peak weight
4. My straight white teeth. Good for smiling :)
5. My compassion for others
6. My ability to help others selflessly without even thinking twice
This is what I love about myself at 217lbs:
1. All of the above.
2. My neck, which now has a little bit of definition.
3. My collarbone, which is just starting to appear. I just love how it feels and find myself touching it often!
4. My calves, which look much more shapely and have some definition.
5. The muscles in my arms, which again are starting to show signs of toning.
6. My positivity. I feel like an extremely happy, well-balanced individual that always looks for the silver lining .
7. My desire to help others feel as good as I do.
Sure, there are still things I don't like about myself. It's only natural, especially after society has tried to condition us to hate ourselves. Now, however, I can focus on all the great stuff that I do like, which actually extends beyond the lists provided above.
I promise you, when you learn to love yourself everything else gets much, much easier. Ignore the media. Ignore the fat-bashers. Ignore anyone who puts you down. Taking this journey to a healthier and happier you will make you a more well-rounded, sensitive individual with a deeper understanding of life that will make you more beautiful than the haters could ever hope to be, and that's the truth.
So go make your lists, my pretties! :D
Diet Calendar Entries for 13 January 2012:
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1833 kcal
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Fat: 68.33g | Prot: 55.32g | Carb: 237.76g.
Breakfast: Oats, Maple Syrup, Milk (Nonfat), Apple Juice. Lunch: Sandwich Thins, Heinz Cream of Tomato Soup. Dinner: Mozzarella Sticks, Creamed Macaroni with Cheese. Snacks/Other: Chips. more...
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2429 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Walking (slow) - 2/mph - 15 minutes, Resting - 15 hours and 45 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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