|
No weight loss yet. I'm having trouble sleeping lately. Maybe it's my body telling me I need to deal with myself and stop coping the way I have been. Anyway, just gonna take things nice and easy and see where I go. Thinking of going to the Y today to work out. Have not been in about 3 months! YIKES! I have the motivation I think- just kinda bummed today. It's hard for me to think of myself in a positive way. Have denied reality for so long and have lived in a fairy tale mind. I don't have many friends to speak of anymore. Yeah, they are on my facebook- but do they reply to my posts or say hello? NOPE! I know, they must not be friends then is what I think. I try not to jump to conclusions because I know they have lives too and just like they don't know all of what goes on in my head- I don't know there's either. Just really pissed I let myself get so depressed for so many years and let everyone go and lived inside of myself. Trying to get out of myself is really hard. It's scary living inside of yourself....at least it is to me. Kind of like you've just let the whole world pass you by. Man, this has nothing to do with dieting, but everything to do with how screwed up I feel. Well, I guess I will try to work on finding myself a therapist today and start writing everything down. It's sad when even you don't want to hear yourself-hence why I shut down for so many years and created a fantasy world. Man, TMI- I know! Anyway, I don't know God personally, I used to- I think he's probably a cool person and can help people so if ya'll wanna pray for me or send good thoughts- that's fine with me. :-) :-(
Thanks ya'll! I need to be on here obviously. I'm thinking of starting a blog, but part of my fear is letting people in and letting them get to know me. I'm tired of thinking people don't like me or don't want to be my friend. I'm a really great person who is human just like everybody else and wish I could start over somehwere where people would give me a chance. I think I'm a really great person if I'd stop obsessing over myself and let people in and show them who I can be.
Diet Calendar Entry for 26 July 2011:
|
1369 kcal
|
Fat: 58.43g | Prot: 101.96g | Carb: 105.53g.
Breakfast: pictsweet brocolli and cheese, luncheon meat great value. Lunch: great value petite diced, pictsweet okra, tilapia frozen. Dinner: southern home frozen spinach, johnsonville chicken sausage, uncle ben's brown rice. Snacks/Other: petite diced tomatoes great value, whole milk, whey protein, olive mayonnaise, Chunk Light Tuna in Water. more...
|
|