maelynpeacock's Journal, 28 March 2015

I feel crazy. Like my head is going to split and turn into a dreidel and just spin at someone else's command. I sat up with staff until after midnight last night. He was kind enough to stay over an hour past his shift until I felt comfortable enough, or rather exhausted enough, to try and sleep. I'm still tired this morning. I didn't sleep a full eight hours. My thoughts are jumping around like Mexican jumping beans. My grandmother told me that on the pysch unit I was on last time she used to work there and there was a lady that had died there. I suppose lots of people have died there. Still, death everywhere. I should eat, but it's almost time for coffee and I'm not hungry. Tired. Tired of hearing voices. At least the walls aren't bleeding. Off to start my day. Take care little chickadees.

Peace, love, and chicken grease.

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Hi, I don't know you yet, but that sounds scary. Is there a nurse practitioner you can call and talk to? Maybe there's something that needs an adjustment? Remember, death is not everywhere, at least if you're in the Northern Hemisphere: it's springtime, and soon everything will blossom again. 
28 Mar 15 by member: lemonella
It's the weekend. My css and I are holding out for a recovery over this weekend before we call the doctor and look for a med change. The order of business is to do things that calm and relax me to see if we can get some of the stress released that's triggered this episode. The problem is that I have other disorders besides the schizoaffective (and right now it's the schizo part that is flaring up) combined with a couple of the others that make stress disappearing hard. It is a little scary, more than a little. Unfortunately, for hallucinations, there's not much they suggest to do for coping other than distract, distract, distract not realizing you're more like a rat caught in a twisted maze that the rules keep changing on you. The mind is adaptive and what worded yesterday or even this morning may not work in this instant to block it out. I am spending time out of my apartment with others in the facility. I'm doing all the things I'm supposed to do. With luck, come Monday it'll be over with. I see my doctor on the 9th. 
28 Mar 15 by member: maelynpeacock
I am here for you, Maelyn - you can private message me anytime. 
28 Mar 15 by member: HCB

     
 

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