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I did okay with food again but the darn ice cream! It's gone now. So no more ice cream is in the house, so that's good. Tomorrow morning I am supposed to walk with my fellow mom friend, our kids are in the same class and we are both quite heavy. I am SO not feeling it! I do need to go to bed now before I regret not getting enough sleep come the morning time. Why is it so difficult to want to do well? Why is it even when I have an exercise buddy, I still don't want the commitment? Of course she does want to walk for over an hour, I didn't sign up for that! It is killing me! Too much too fast! But I am not sure how to tell her? I want to walk for like 45 mins, that's it! I got other stuff to do in the mornings! :( I want to eat better, I need more money for more food that is healthier! But then again, when I buy fruit and stuff, I and hungrier than that! I don't want an ORANGE! I WANT a BURGER DAMNIT!!! :( Geez.... I feel like I need some drastic mental change, because I am not okay. I am not happy being fat, but I am not diciplined enough to make myself do what I really want, and I really want to be an entirely different person. i just don't really love myself or like myself. I never really have. And I don't know how to fix it.
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