redwinelover's Journal, 04 December 2010

Whoo-hooo! 122 again... actually about 121.9, but who's counting, right? No journal for so long... Okay, I'm going to try to get back into the groove here.

Had my 6 week post op check yesterday and it went really well. My husband met me at the doctor's office and we both asked questions. I really love this doctor - so patient, so honest and I really think he cares about his patients. Or maybe he only cares what they think about his work? I don't know, but I'd go back to him in a heartbeat. I even forgive him for being young, good looking and male. I've had some sharp, stabbing pains in both breasts and both near what feels like a cyst or a lump. Since he took two large cysts out of one side, which were just calcified cysts -benign- I assumed the one sort of pointy or hard one was one of these. But wanted to make sure there weren't some kind of breast fat necrosis going on. So I showed him and he felt it and said it felt like one of his surgical knots. He explained the whole Strattice thing again, and how it's a sort of internal sling or internal bra and he uses really heavy duty suture thread for that, that is almost like fishing wire - but will eventually dissolve over about six months. Since the Strattice is so expensive to use and so important (he feels) for the outcome, he uses that type to make it really secure, no chance of blowing out a stitch, I guess. So apparently the strattice is sewn along the bottom of the mammary fold, along both sides and across the breast at about nipple height. And that part is sewn to the pectoral muscle.. I think? Not sure. But would explain the stabbing pains here and there. He said the other side also felt like the same thing, but deeper. And said if I wanted, he could order an ultrasound if I was worried about it. I told him I wasn't worried, as long as he felt he knew what it was, and that MY concern was that a gynecologist may want a biopsy. He said IF that happened, call him or just have him/her order an ultrasound first. But he also said that most likely it will dissolve over six months and just to keep an eye on it just in case. I had a few other questions, too, and he answered everything. Then I had the "after" photos taken. Not NEARLY as traumatic to me this time! Last time, I'd swear I had PTSD for a while... I HATED having those pictures taken. This time...not so bad! And fewer "poses", too! lol... which did help! Anyway, the doc was so pleased with his work he asked if I'd signed the release to use the photos on his website. OMG... I said no, and he asked if I'd consider it - having such a "good" result and he wanted to showcase the use of Strattice for "thin skinned" women. I told him probably not, but I'd that I'd be happy to let him give prospective patients my contact info. So he asked if he could use my photos just in his office with patients and I said that would be fine with me. I mean, there are no faces involved, just bodies. He tried to tell me that people were looking at the afters, but I told him I wasn't sure I agreed with him because when I was looking at women's photos, I was trying to find someone with the same body type and same types of issues I was dealing with...THEN I'd look at the after photos. So no online pictures...not a chance. But no objections to him using them within the office. But was it flattering? Yeah, kind of... that the doc thinks the results are good enough to bring in new clients...lol... Anyway, I have no more appointments with him unless there is a problem, and they'll call me near the six month mark to see how thing are going. He did add, of course, to call the office if I have any questions or concerns. I'm actually gonna miss him. I've NEVER been one to fall for their doctor... hell, most of the time I can't STAND doctors. But this one? Nice guy, great doctor, awesome surgeon... yeah, I'll miss him. He told me that as long as there is pain when I cough or sneeze, no workouts. And get this... I just found out I am NEVER to do push ups or anything that isolates the chest. I don't think I knew that... I knew there could be funny movement of the implants, but didn't know it'd be off limits. So I guess I'll be modifying my workouts once I get back to them. Hmmm... looks like Shaun T and I are split up for good! On Monday I'll get my medical records and the before and after photos. I saw the befores again yesterday and oh Lord... I'm SO glad I was able to have this surgery! (THANK YOU DEAR HUSBAND!!!!) Wow, I'm a totally different person in some ways. I mean, I'm me... but I have a completely different outlook, I feel younger and "cuter" (lol) and just more like ME, more confident, more feminine...just love it!.
And the really silly thing is I view my new boobs and ME... as the way I felt I should have been in the first place, not like "fake" - I knew this was right for me in a lot of ways. One of them was before the surgery, I would look at my padded bras and "cutlets" as my "fake boobs" and couldn't wait to get my "real" ones!

So all is well here. Clean bill of health from the doc. OH... you're not gonna believe this, but he said I was thin, and that thin women have this or that issue! And then the office assistant, Mary, said yes, I should think about putting on 5 lbs, maybe 10... that it may fill out my face and some other areas that are lacking the bit of fat under the skin that helps you look softer. Hmmm... GAIN weight? Professionals want me to GAIN some weight? lol... never thought I'd see that day! Will I? no, probably not...not until I CAN work out and what I want to put on is muscle. Muscle in my legs and butt... that's what I'm needing. And when I do that, I will put on a few pounds, so I may end up around the 125 - 130 range and feel comfortable there.

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Comments 
I got my surgery financed... Well 50% of it and its given me peace of mind and a new body shape. My payments are $150 monthly. 
06 Dec 10 by member: gizmonel
Hey Youngbug... I answered on the other entry :D That's what I get for weighing myself AFTER I actually journaled for the day! lol...  
06 Dec 10 by member: redwinelover
Happynow... I'll bet you already look GREAT! I can't fit into any size 2 clothes and doubt I will. I squeeze into 3's pretty well for the most part. Although not ALL brands. (I avoid those! lol) And yes, it doesn't matter how long it takes to get there because I really think it's about the journey. The self-discovery, the learning curve, gaining tools to keep us there. You are fortunate in that you love great food! That helps tremendously. I've slipped as far as food choices go - eating too many fiber bars out of packages again! But can't argue too much with "success". I know many Asians are very slim (most of us Americans look huge to not only Asians, but a good portion of the rest of the world, too! We're a fat country!), but you probably blend in very well at your current weight. So, you've got an inch on me! I wish I had that inch between my hip bones and my rib cage! Then maybe I could have one of those 25" waists, too! Thanks for commenting on my journal :) 
06 Dec 10 by member: redwinelover
Gizmonel, $150/month sounds VERY reasonable to have a great feeling of satisfaction and pride in your body! My husband paid all cash... no truck for HIM! But it was a very unusual opportunity - that kind of cash isn't normally just hanging around... more like a ... well, not a ONE time thing, but a once every few years kind of thing. And that wonderful man spent it on me, making ME feel good about myself. Wow... I still tear up just thinking about that! Damn, I'm a lucky woman!  
06 Dec 10 by member: redwinelover
$150 a month is not only reasonable but it also has put peace of mind in my thinking that I am no longer fat... It has become a very therapeutic journey after surgery that has made me at peace and truly engage in my new body shape that I have won the battle of bulge! 
06 Dec 10 by member: gizmonel
RWL, I am happy to hear about your clean bill of health and about your happiness in the results of your surgery....TOWANDA!!! 
06 Dec 10 by member: Lisa Online
Thanks, Lisa! I appreciate that. And I am very happy with the results :) 
07 Dec 10 by member: redwinelover
WOW.....ONLY you can write ONE journal and ride on it for days.....he he he.... Man I love ya . AND of course you are one lucky woman.....WE knew that. ( any man choosing your happiness over a truck???) pssh..... SO where is todays entry???? ha ha ha ha.... 
08 Dec 10 by member: Klannoye
lol... Klannoye - I love you, too! Yeah, we BOTH have good men. Damn, we're a couple of fortunate women! I'll journal... later 
08 Dec 10 by member: redwinelover
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