Carmel8sons's Journal, 15 October 2010

Woke up today, feling bit better, went out for coffee with pals, very tired, took a lot out if me. Its a bit of a stress day money wise as well, just not making it on my money, by time bills paid and still paying college stuff,I'm so broke its wearing me down.

Kids bugging me as they expect me to work miracles and then the X bought one of them a laptop today, He wont give me maintance and he buys them these things. Just so upsetting.

Sitting here having a slice of bread and Jam, just want to curl and sleep till my next payment. Very down as I also met a girl in town, no qualitications and she got a C.E Scheme one of the ones I had applied for, & she's so common in speach. Just a day when everything can go wrong went wrong. Feel so under valued. Going out today I went to a coffee shop that I had a coupon for a free coffee and then in McDonalds with another free coffee vouchers, pals know that I am dieting so made no comment about me not buying food.

Trying to keep telling mysel kids are healthy, safe and I've no real worries but some days that not enough.

I'll be ok tomorrow. just needed to moan, get it all out.

NEW DAY TOMORROW< A POSITIVE ATTITUDE< A BIT OF MIRROR TALK< SAYING " I MUST IMUST AND I WILL I WILL.

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It's good that you are honest with yourself when you feel off or down. Sometime life is just icky. I sometimes try to sound positive all the time and it gets tiring. I hope things get better. I understand the grinding down that can happen from lack of money, and I totally understand how frustrating it is to see other people get the success you want and deserve. Just hang in there and keep fighting for your chances! I am rooting for you! 
16 Oct 10 by member: katekat
Oh Carmel, I wish I could fix something for you, but I guess all I can do is listen and send ((((HUGS)))). 
16 Oct 10 by member: Sandy701
Carmel, I am praying for you! 
16 Oct 10 by member: ctlss
Thank you all for loving comments, yesterday was just "A TOO MUCH HAPPENING NEGITIVE DAY" I'm not normally so petty and I never grudge anyone success but after sending out so many so applications and getting nothing back is so demorilizing. And to be told that with my qualifications I would be bored in the job.I've never worked in any job that I could use my qualifications so I dont know if I would hence to ned of experience. Ah well today a small bit better. Thank You all and Sandy701 Heres an extra big (((HUG))) back,xxxxxxxxxxxx 
17 Oct 10 by member: Carmel8sons

     
 

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