|
Tuesday and the weather is gorgeous. Fearless May continues as I just made a reservation to go to one of those 'Bring $40 and we give you a canvas and teach you how to paint in one class' things. I've never been nor would have ever considered going in the past as I have no talent and am a catastrophe with paint but the 'me I want to be' is giving me the courage to give it a shot. Note to self: wear something old. And take that birthday blouse as a cleaning rag.
I'm actually a little excited because I'm going 'alone'. I only have one real friend and she's very kind but whenever we go places together I 'disappear'. At least tomorrow night I can be invisible all on my own. I know this reads as if I'm heading back to into hiding but I am just giving much thought to the things I want to do and how I wish to proceed.
It's all making sense now. Going to a different masseuse, nail salon and hairdresser all on my birthday ~ it was pure intuitive action toward my rebirth as I emerge from roles I no longer wish to play. I was a different person there and could set new rules. I don't want to have to listen to the hairdresser or masseuse tell me their yakkity yak stories when I'm trying to zone out and relax. By being 'quiet' at the new place, I've set the terms for future returns.
For my grandson's 16th this year we're paying for his driving course - $400! I think it was ... oh... $50 when I did it! Makes me feel old. Give me time and I'll start ranting about earning $1 an hour and ten cent cokes!
Thank you for reading,
Grandma Bella-Moses
Diet Calendar Entries for 14 May 2013:
|
1916 kcal
|
Fat: 105.71g | Prot: 126.04g | Carb: 132.15g.
Breakfast: Tomatoes, Spinach, Onions, StarKist Foods White Albacore Tuna in Water. Lunch: Cooked Pinto, Calico or Red Beans. Dinner: Chobani Flip Almond Coco Loco, Mayonnaise, KFC KFC Chicken Bites, 100% Whole Wheat Bread, Onions, Tomatoes, Baby Spinach, Cheddar Cheese, Egg, Bacon, Dry Roasted Almonds (with Salt Added), Spectrum Chia Seeds, Fage Total 0% Greek Yogurt (Container). more...
|
|
 Comments
Oh dang, I need to set that up for my son as well-he'll be 16 in August.
14 May 13 by member: CollyMP
|
sigh-sorry, hit the submit button way too soon! I like the "new" Bella-start as you mean to go on, definitely. I think it would make me crazy to hear about the personal issues of my service provider. Not that I'm mean, I'm not, but I'd rather not spend my money to hear it. It's inappropriate.
14 May 13 by member: CollyMP
|
I did one of those painting courses a few years back. It was with the Bob Ross method - you remember him, I'm sure. He's the guy on PBS with the big afro and liked to paint "happy little trees". Anyway, it was a fun day and I came out of there with a painting I'm not ashamed to hang on the wall. I think it's great that you are recreating yourself into someone you want to be. I know what you mean about the $400 for the driving course. Way back when I got my license, there was no incentive or directive to take a course - you could if you wanted to but most people's parents were their "instructors". Now they will let you take the test without taking a course but you have to wait a year after getting your learner's permit. So, of course, no kid wants to wait that long and they suck the parents into paying. LOL about feeling old when thinking of the price differences between "then and now". I seem to find myself doing that all the time as of late. Odd. Enjoy your painting class!
14 May 13 by member: evelyn64
|
What is with people that can make us "disappear"??? I work with a woman who is way above me on the org chart but she is on my Biggest Loser team. I always feel like she just tolerates me when we are together. She sat down with me at lunch today so I could be just imagining she doesn't like me. Your painting class sounds so fun - can't wait for you to POST THE RESULTS!
14 May 13 by member: Neptunebch
|
I think its so interesting how we teach people how to treat us and what to expect...each person we are with is a new opportunity. A college professor at graduation told me I could be anyone when I moved to a new place. That made a lot of sense to me.you are recreating bella. Love it!
14 May 13 by member: sharonfriz
|
Good for you, Bella! You are doing so well & fearlessly reaching so many new milestones! You are truly amazing & such an inspiration! I've been thinking about some of my friends & who I choose to spend time with lately too. I have one friend in particular that I've recently come to realize I feel so good around & so enjoy being with her, in comparison to a couple where I feel I have to defend myself and/or my opinions, feelings. It's almost like spending time here when I'm with her. The older I've gotten, the less I want to spend my time with those who make me feel bad or uncomfortable -- one of the real (few!) benefits of aging, in my opinion. While I love the old Bella to death, I'm so happy & also crazy about the "new you" -- You go girl! xoxox
15 May 13 by member: Ruhu
|
After reading comments about friends on some buddies journals you guys are making me happy I am alone..lol Anyway it sounds like you basically have decided to be your own person and do what you want to do and that is wonderful. Have fun creating!!
15 May 13 by member: chattycathy1955
|
@Colly - yeah, I am a really caring person but at some point I need to be able to have a little 'me time' and that includes quiet voices and soft music
15 May 13 by member: FullaBella
|
@Evelyn - I remember those! I'm such a literal person if you say 'paint a tree' I'd first draw a first grader's version of a tree ~ I saw him paint one once that was anything BUT a tree as he went along and then all of a sudden: TREE. Poor kid - last night he learned of the 'gift' but then Gramps and parents followed up with all the caveats and sucked the fun right out of it.. Geez
15 May 13 by member: FullaBella
|
@Neptune - my IRL friend - it's not really HER on purpose (then again, maybe I'm being forgiving and obtuse). Regardless I like that I'm going to this the first time myself; I feel so grown up, LOL.
15 May 13 by member: FullaBella
|
@Sharon - yep, hence me wanting to go into WitSec my whole life but never realizing I was really there with 30 years of corporate travel and being a ghost in my own marriage. I'm slow to catch on, huh :-)
15 May 13 by member: FullaBella
|
@Angel -in my 30's I wondered how older women seemed so self actualized (esp at a time when I was freaking out at getting older) but as time passed I finally got it. By the time I was 40 I began every sentence with my age as if it were an explanation for my behavior and continue to do so, ala, "I'm 52 years old and if I want to walk over to the town hall meeting alone, I CAN!' It's a challenge because the introvert in me can push me into hermit mode in a heart beat and I think closing myself off is dangerous; this internet group thing is good but is not a substitute for the real thing.
15 May 13 by member: FullaBella
|
@Cathy - yeah, friends are just like everyone and everything else - they require maintenance, patience and compassion. Many times it won't feel equal and now and then it requires an assessment if it is to continue. It is very difficult for me to HAVE friends because they have to fit into a tiny category of being married but to husbands who don't mind being home alone. They also have to be able to be spontaneous as I don't always know when or if I'm going to have someone to sit with my husband while I go out or cancel at the last minute because he's sick. So I realize I'm a bit of baggage as a friend too.
15 May 13 by member: FullaBella
|
| |
|
|
| |
Submit a Comment
You must sign in to submit a comment
|
|
|
Other Related Links
Members
|
FullaBella's weight history
|