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I'm worried I might start having nightmares about the trainer on EA Sports Active. Tonight's workout included squat and hold which sounds nasty if you've got a dirty mind but it's really doing a squat and staying down in it for like 30 seconds. It's really freaking hard to hold a deep squat for me for that long and on one of the reps of it, I came up since I couldn't hold it anymore. "Squat! Squat! Squat!" in a firm tone of voice. I swear I'm going to probably hear that in my dreams tonight.
Had an interesting time at the beach today. First off, let me say that I felt comfortable enough with me to just sit in my bathing suit - not covered up with a shirt and shorts or whatever. Thing is though, if you look around at people on the beach even the so called skinny people don't have perfect bodies. Even the girls in bikinis have some kind of imperfections, stretch marks, surgical scars, a little bit of a pooch whatever. Thing is too, that people of all sizes are out on the beach, bigger than me, smaller than me, whatever. I can't begin to say how many times in my life I've been on a beach and felt huge and out of place. Many times at a weight lower than what I'm at currently. Today, it was cool. I sat there in just my bathing suit and was cool with it. Sure, I have flab but I also have some really awesome looking calf muscles with how much I work out. It's a process.
Came home (finally) and did the workout above (almost halfway through the 30 day challenge woo!) went out to pick up some quick things and stupidly wore my size 24 shorts. Yes, I know I'm not a size 24, the problem is I actually don't have shorts in any intermediate size between a 24 and like a 16. Mainly because I felt so freaking self-conscious about myself the past few summers that I wouldn't WEAR shorts. Capris yes, shorts no. It was only at the beginning of this summer when I was like "Fuck it, I'm hot" (temperature wise, not hottie wise) and caved and bought a few pairs. Which DID fit me in June. They obviously don't anymore. I had to belt the hell out of them earlier just to make sure they wouldn't fall off in the frozen food section of Trader Joe's. Yes, I know, I could've worn jeans or something longer that actually fits me and doesn't risk falling down but again, it's hot today, I spent the day in the sun and worked out so the concept of going to the store in jeans wasn't appealing.
I'm guessing my hips are somewhere around 45" right now based on how things are fitting. I really do need to do measurements so I freaking know. I was actually able to zip a pair of size 18 pants from NY & Company tonight. (Waaaaaay too tight, but I don't think I've been able to zip those in well over a year.)
Diet Calendar Entries for 29 August 2010:
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1378 kcal
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Fat: 44.56g | Prot: 92.41g | Carb: 155.03g.
Breakfast: Water, Shrimp, Fried Battered Flounder, Italian Bread, Coffee, Milk (Nonfat). Lunch: wendy's small diet coke, wendy's side salad, wendy's ultimate grill . Dinner: water, trader joe's spinach lasagna, banana, kirby cucumber. Snacks/Other: Rold Gold Pretzel Sticks, water. more...
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3300 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Shopping - 30 minutes, EA Sports Active - 24 minutes, Housework - 30 minutes, Driving - 2 hours, Walking (slow) - 2/mph - 20 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 12 hours and 16 minutes. more...
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