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One word to describe how my past 5 days have been - STRESSFUL! It's funny how everything can be fine and then not just one big stressful event comes along, but many! I feel like I have been emotionally beaten to a pulp. Diet wise I am on track. I am losing weight and am happy about that. My dad gets his test results today and he won't let anyone go with him to the doctors. My brother in law is moving here from Canada into a travel trailer in my yard and he is stressing me out. I got my review at work which wasn't bad but I was told I need to work on having more confidence. My sister is coming out to my dad's house today and my step mom is mad because she is only coming out because my step mom got a new horse and she wants to ride it. It is true though, my sister doesnt usually go visit my dad so she is mostly just coming to see the horse. Arrrr! Oh and I have a crown that is shifting or something an I have to go to the dentist - which we can't afford and we have no insurance. I am trying to get over the thing with my trashy cousin & his wife and them putting on a breast exhibit in front of my husband but it's hard. I just feel like a mountain is piling up on top of me. I really don't handle stress very well. I haven't been sleeping much, or eating much, and I have been sick to my stomach alot. I try my best to not let it show so I feel like I am acting most of the time for the benefit of my kids and family. I know what it's like to grow up with your mom depressed and unhappy so no matter what I will put on a smile for my kids if at all possible. Thinks are just tough right now and I pray they get better. Sorry to unload on everyone. TGIF!
Diet Calendar Entry for 16 July 2010:
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952 kcal
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Fat: 79.89g | Prot: 42.45g | Carb: 14.72g.
Breakfast: american cheese, heavy whipping cream, sweet n low, coffee. Lunch: vienna, cheddar, sugar free drink mix, water. Snacks/Other: sunflower nuts. more...
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 Comments
Take care of you... let the rest of them do as they please. Stress is a bee-otch and will sneek up on you..drink your water.. prepare meals and snacks. I know full well the ice cream will be woo-ing you... but choose healthy/choose life.
"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference."
16 Jul 10 by member: FLOWERDUDE
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Amanda, this is your test. Your test of determination, will, and strength. It is how you managed to make it through victoriously that makes you who you are. I know in a job with so much uncertainty it must be hard to be more confident. Show them you own it. Show them you know what you are doing and what you can do for them. You never know, they might just be looking for a reason to keep you on.
16 Jul 10 by member: kmartin
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Great quote flowerdude. Thanks Keli. You know I am upset about work but not too much. I know this is a temp job and I am going to school and will find something better some day. I actually talked with them about possibly working PT later down the road because of school. They said that would probably be fine because my position is flexible and what I do is not very time sesitive. I know the job will phase out eventually so if I could work PT later and go to school that would be great.
16 Jul 10 by member: amanda123
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You know Amanda, the true test of a man or woman is not in the adversity they face in life, but in how they deal with that adversity, and what they do during those times! You are doing great! Just let go and let God. That is what He is here for! There are just some things that we cannot control, and unfortunately, letting God take care of those things is one of the hardest things we ever have to do. We humans tend to micromanage everything, and when God tries to take care of things, we tend to try to "help" the Big Guy out! lol, as if He needs it. It is time to let God take care of your problems, and you take care of you! Hope that your weekend is awesome, and that you find a measure of peace!
16 Jul 10 by member: ctlss
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Awesome post Stef. Everything she said.
16 Jul 10 by member: kmartin
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Thanks everyone. I know I can't place the burdon of all these problems on my shoulders alone and I have been praying. My husband and I actually talked about that last night. I think we are going to go to church on Sunday. Yesterday afternoon when I was stressed out and didn't want to be in the house I told the girls - lets go for a walk. They called it an adventure. They are 5 and 6 years old. We went into the pature and then into the woods and made a circle back home. We have a creek out in the woods and our lab went swimming. I helped the girls swing on some kind of vines that grown out there and they found mushrooms & bugs to look at. They were fascinated with the junk pile that my family has been dumping for generations (old equipment, fridges, stoves, etc. Then we found a dead cow. I smelled her before I saw her. She was old and we knew she would be dying soon. On the way back my youngest little girl got to tired and I had to carry her th rest of the way so I definately got my workout in yesterday. She is small for her age and weighs about 32 pounds and I was thinking - dang, I used to carry around alot more extra weight than this on my body! I did notice that on my walk I didnt get exhausted like I used to and my foot didn't hurt as much. Anyways.... they had a blast and I am going to try an make more of a habit of it. I told them we could borrow PaPa's metal detector and go treasure hunting. lol! We will probably just find old nails and cans but it will be fun and we might find an old coin or something neat. I am hoping for a low stress weekend but if not I can just escape to the woods again.
16 Jul 10 by member: amanda123
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Sounds like you had a great time with your girls, even with a dead cow (!) thrown into the mix. :) And you noticed that all your hard work is paying off too in the way you feel - awesome!!
I second what Stef said about control. That's a hard, hard lesson I've had to learn over the past year and I'm still working on getting it right. We can control only ourselves and our actions, not those of everyone around us. It's up to God to work on them - we can only work on ourselves. It brings a certain measure of peace to give up that control of others to God, even if you (I) have to do it over and over again.
I hope you're able to find some of that peace now, and keep up the great work on getting yourself in shape and in better health. Hope you have a good weekend!
16 Jul 10 by member: desifink
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I agree with what everyone else says. When everything gets to be too much to handle giving things over to God really helps me. I try to be in too much control of my life but when I remember that God is supposed to be in control my life gets so much less complicated. Sounds like you had a great day with your girls. I bet you are a wonderful Mom! Try to just focus on one thing at a time and not think about all the stressful things in your life at once. You are an amazing person and deserve the very best!!!
18 Jul 10 by member: Multiplicity1
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