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I sit here feeling lost and defeated. The darkness has taken ahold of me again and I can't seem to shake free. Why is it so hard to let go of other things, to stop worrying about others, to start looking out for my own best interest instead of putting myself last?
I know what to do. I know what foods make me feel best and what my body responds well to. I have a gym membership. I have a physical therapy exercise plan to follow. I make my own weekly schedule and do my own grocery shopping. So why the hell can't I do this?
I am tired of pain both from my injuries not healing as well or as quickly as they would if I was practicing healthy choices. I'm tired of the knee and foot/ankle pain because of too much weight on my body. I'm tired of feeling like a "fat girl" when I can't fit into even my largest sized clothing anymore. I'm tired of not liking the way my body looks both in and out of clothing. Honestly, I'm just plain out tired - all the time.
I can't do this alone... I just wish I knew who I could turn to for support and help. There's gotta be someone near me going through something like this too. There's gotta be a way to say/explain all this to someone without feeling stupid.
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 Comments
Don't give up. Sometimes life can get overwhelming but you've gotta take it day-by-day, one step at a time. Never lose faith in yourself (because you are capable of greatness) and Never lose faith in God (who is able to show HIS greatness through you). One day (soon) you'll look back and think "wow, was that me?" (Smile)
31 Dec 12 by member: Belle140
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I was right where you are only 1 week ago. In fact, if it wasn't for my kids, I probably would not be here anymore. Then miraculously, the very next day, a miracle happened in my life that let me know that God is still there. I joined the gym (have been going for 4 days now), and I have changed my diet. This is NOT a New's Year's Resolution, this is simply a change in my lifestyle. I quit drugs nearly 13 years ago and I quite cigarettes nearly 9 months ago - so I know I can do this and I know you can too.
You are NOT alone!! Hang in there and feel free to message me at any time. Maybe we can support each other.
31 Dec 12 by member: observedann
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Much hugs. Never say die - I notice that weight watchers has now come out with 'weight watchers 360' which is supposed to take into account the fact that people backslide, which gives me a small chuckle because anyone on here knows that all too well. I hope your body is continuing to heal, and that you haven't given in to the depression - I know that temptation all too well too. Took me years to finally break lose of the apathy, just going along existing, and I know it will always be waiting for me. Every day is a day to fight for the right to say 'Today, I did something worth doing, something that needed to be done, no matter how small. Tomorrow I'll get up and do the same again.'
15 Jan 13 by member: bloodaxe
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