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I’ve had a hard two days! Yesterday, my best friend was shipped off to a mental hospital against her will – could be for days or months, or YEARS! I’m very sad. I did alright yesterday with my eating, did alright today (except that I had THREE Diet Cokes, and maybe only 1 glass of water) UNTIL about an hour ago. I WANT to eat everything in the house! Instead, I made myself a BLT on Potato Bread and had a bunch of Cheetos with it. I STILL want to go eat all the rest of the Entennmann’s Rich Frosted Pop-Em’s, or one of the Entennmann’s cherry pies.
My food diary has been very good for today. Excellent choices. But, I’m already at almost 2,150 calories WITHOUT THE SANDWICH OR CHEETOS, and I’m only supposed to have 1,625. So, I’m feeling like, “Why should I even care what happens for the rest of the day! HEY, cherries and chocolate go well together. The first bite of the mini-cherry pie was delicious. Now, let me see how it is combined with a chocolate Pop’Em. MMM. LOVE that crunchy chocolate! I’m kinda swooning here. Ok, there it is – the GUILT and misery, and I’m not even done CHEWING yet!
Anyway, as you may know, I’m a stress eater. I’m under stress. I’m available to my friend for calls day or night, and I WANT her to call me. Last night, I went to bed early (6:45pm) because she was still traveling, and I thought she might call when she got to Orlando. I woke up and talked to her for over 30 minutes, starting just after 11pm. We had been texting since 10:30pm, though. I ended up staying UP until 2am, then went back to bed until 4am, when I got up for the day.
I got a LOT of website stuff done today, but I’m still behind. Hopefully, I’ll get in another good “work” day tomorrow. (I also went through over 100 items of clothing and prepared them for giveaway, made Pecan Cream Cheese Pancakes, and entered it into the Cook Book, made Low-Cal spaghetti sauce with spaghetti squash, made fruit DIP (which everyone in my family LOVES to go with the big fruit bowl I made), went to the store for the Angel Hair pasta for my husband’s NOT low-carb spaghetti, visited with my twin friends for over 4 hours, and tried on a bunch of clothes to see if they fit me. A great day of accopmlishments – all negated by a mini-cherry pie and 9 Pop’Ems (which I’m not even going to put in my Food Journal.
Maybe tomorrow will be a better day. Maybe I’ll lose weight IN SPITE of my indulgence this evening. Maybe tomorrow will be a perfect day. It will be Wednesday, and then there is only THURSDAY to finish the week for the Swimsuit Challenge, and so far, I’m not doing very well. I really WANT to lose weight EVERY week on it. Maybe God will be gracious in spite of my disobedience. “GRACE” is: God giving us good things we don’t deserve or haven’t merited. “MERCY” is god NOT giving us the things we DO deserve for the bad things we have done. So, I guess for tonight and tomorrow, and until Friday morning’s weigh-in, I need His Grace AND Mercy.
I’m tired. I’m overwhelmed. I need this day to be OVER, and for a new one to begin. Going to bed now to make that happen.
Diet Calendar Entry for 26 March 2019:
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2147 kcal
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Fat: 165.15g | Prot: 49.75g | Carb: 126.57g.
Breakfast: Jimmy Dean Fully Cooked Original Pork Sausage Patties, Keto Rolls. Lunch: Walden Farms Calorie Free Pancake Syrup, Butter (Salted), PECAN CREAM CHEESE PANCAKES, Fruit Salad. Dinner: Rao's Homemade Tomato Basil Sauce, Adams Diced Onion, Jimmy Dean Premium Pork Sausage, Pearls Large Black Olives, Cooked Spaghetti Squash. Snacks/Other: Entenmann's Pop'ems Rich Frosted, Breyers CarbSmart Ice Cream Bars - Vanilla. more...
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